All Posts By

Dan Budnik

  • Reviews

    Shaitani Dracula (2006)

    Singh! You got the goods! You’ve left my mind spinning as my heart pines for the joys of scantily clad women wearing grotesque Halloween masks and vampire teeth. Nothing makes sense…

  • Reviews

    Beyond The Seventh Door (1987)

    In every movie, the lead character should have a cool name. On very rare occasions, the lead actor’s real name is cooler than the character’s name. Weng Weng is a better…

  • Reviews

    Death Shock (1981)

    All Hail, Walpurgis Night! The Witches’ Sabbath is nigh. Light the bonfires and celebrate! The day itself is named after Saint Walpurga. I’m not completely sure why, unless she is the…

  • Reviews

    Mark of the Beast (1986)

    My final year at West Irondequoit High School involved me spending a lot of time in a thin, grey video editing bay. For class, and sometimes for my own amusement, I…

  • Reviews

    Game of Survival (1989)

    When I was a wee squirt, I use to write and draw my own comic books. My 10-12 page comics were a melange of crazy kid plotting and some of the…

  • Reviews

    Friday the 13th: Halloween Night (1994)

    If it’s Halloween and Jason and Michael Myers are stalking a group of teens AND the film is scored with Beastie Boys songs and Rob Zombie songs AND several of the…

  • Reviews

    Basement, The (1989)

    Four people arrive in a basement, confused and cheesed off. A being known as The Sentinel appears and tells them of their future sins in stories of varying length and gruesomeness.…

  • Reviews

    Double Agent ’73 (1975)

    God bless the day Doris Wishman met Chesty Morgan. Yeah! It’s the second Chesty and Doris number following Deadly Weapons! Chesty, who will do “whatever,” and Doris, whose mind is continually…

  • Reviews

    Stealthhunters (1991)

    I’ve never written a review in a Speedo before but there’s no time like the present. It’s blue, it’s tight, it says “MAMA RIDES” on the butt. I don’t know what…

  • Reviews

    Terrorists, The (19??)

    When you just let an imagination go, sometimes the most tremendous things can happen. This film, The Terrorists, is Pure Millard. Set in Munich and his home in Northern California (but…

  • Reviews

    Mysteries From Beyond Earth (1975)

    “This movie will salt your buns…in the good way,” proclaims Prof. Swift of the Journal of the Franklin Institute. And, really, don’t argue with Prof. Swift, just take the time to…

  • Reviews

    Rescue Force (1989)

    “Work office. Burbank, CA 9:03 AM” Striker, Kiki, Bandana, Angel, the guy with the mustache, the other ladies and some other guys go up HARD against some terrorists operating around Syria,…

  • Reviews

    Kill Squad (1982)

    You know how Monster Kids made home movies when they were young and then grew up and made non-home movies? Well, I think there may have been an Action Kid who…

  • Reviews

    Savage Water (1979)

    Well, it finally arrived. I’d been wishing on a star for ages and the star came through for me. Turns out that I wasn’t ready for it. Dave Savage runs a…

  • Reviews

    Mysterious Monsters, The (1976)

    I could watch these sorts of documentaries, especially from this time period, all day long. Peter Graves talks and talks. Sometimes they cut to random footage of other people talking. Sometimes…

  • Reviews

    Commando Game: Deadly Pursuit (1984)

    The ex-video store copy I have of this lists the category as “WAR”. That might not be completely true. This Video 2 Video extravaganza isn’t quite as good as the previous…

  • Reviews

    Bounty Hunters, The (1985)

    Video 2 Video strikes like the cobra. From the opening logo with wobbly synths to the final fade out that had me sitting there for 10 seconds before I said “Oh,…

  • Reviews

    Carnival Of Blood (1970)

    Nothing feels like those “First Half of the 70s” American Horror films. With no formula in place, they did whatever they thought would scare people. And, that involved actual scare tactics,…

  • Reviews

    Curse Of The Headless Horseman (1973)

    It’s really not about the horseman. This isn’t a Sleepy Hollow remake. Curse Of The Headless Horseman was made by Leonard Kirtman, who made Carnival Of Blood. If you haven’t seen…

  • Reviews

    Miami Horror (1985)

    “How’s the Filthy Swine?” “The Old Nazi?” They are talking about the same guy. David Warbeck is a wisecracking TV reporter who gets involved in great, ancient Supernatural Events involving John…

  • Reviews

    Overlords Of The U.F.O. (1976)

    A man talks to us, a lot, about “The UFO” and all the sightings and all the cover-ups and some things that are, frankly, super-wacky. The man speaks very authoritatively. But,…

  • Reviews

    Frankenstein ’80 (1972)

    A scientist named “Dr. Frankenstein” creates a monster named Mosaic. But, Mosaic’s body keeps rejecting parts of itself causing him to rampage around and kill people. Dr. F steels a big…

  • Reviews

    Curse Of Bigfoot (1976)

    It was around 1982 or so. I had been given a tape recorder for my birthday and some 60 minute tapes. My career in whatever-it-is-I-do began! I used to do half-hour…

  • Reviews

    Howling: New Moon Rising, The (1994)

    Location: Pioneertown, CA. A western town in the desert. An Australian gentleman named Ted arrives at Harriet and Pappy’s Pioneertown Palace (a real place) looking for work. The members of the…

  • Reviews

    Alpha Incident, The (1978)

    A microorganism from Mars is being transported by train across the U.S. The crusty fellow (played by George “Buck” Flower) who works on the train ignores the scientist’s warnings and decided…

  • Reviews

    Orphan, The (1979)

    1933: A young boy’s parents die in rather unpleasant circumstances. So, his aunt comes to stay with him on the huge family estate. The boy doesn’t like his aunt. She’s doing…

  • Reviews

    Jimmy, The Boy Wonder (1966)

    Hoorah! Jimmy saved the world! Saved it from the evil Mr. Fig! And, it only involved a bit of walking around aimlessly through parks in Miami with a nice lady named…

  • Reviews

    Night Of Horror (1978)

    Four folks drive to a cabin deep in the mountains of Virginia for various family and recreational reasons. Their camper breaks down. While waiting in the dark, they encounter the ghosts…

  • Reviews

    Invasion From Inner Earth (1974)

    The world is being invaded. People are dying in clouds of mist and red lights. I’d ask “Where does the terror come from?” but the title kind of gives it away.…