Let’s get negative. The title track of The Velvet Underground’s White Light/White Heat LP kills me. It’s like a furious french kiss in broad daylight, sloppy and electrifying in its brevity…
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Last week, a woman moved in to the apartment above mine. She had loud sex two days later. That same evening, I was walking my dog and she introduced herself and…
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Is this it? Yes. This is it. No matter who you are, there are moments in life when all sense of direction disappears. These moments may originate with tragedy, or simply…
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According to my Dad’s friend, “Disco” Bob Schmul, the key component for a “#1 Best Party” is a vagina with a snake hanging out on it. And guess what? This movie…
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This friend needs hugging. My Friends Need Killing is dead serious. And very determined. Attempting to communicate the grim consequences that war reaps on people, the film’s tenor is callous and…
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Viddy I-wasn’t-sure-at-first-but-now-that-I-think-about-it-I’m-feeling-kinda-well, my brothers. I don’t want to mislead you. Killer’s Moon is not a strict derivative of A Clockwork Orange. At least, not in the meta-enhanced sense that emboldens Eloy…
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They (don’t really) scream for anything. But I scream for mustaches. Judiciously. For the past thirty years, Scream for Vengeance has led the world to believe that it’s an onerously brutal…
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Fantasies can get you into trouble. But what’s trouble in the face of some vampiric menstruation? Valerie And Her Week Of Wonders has a lot going on. At its base, the…
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“Work office. Burbank, CA 9:03 AM” Striker, Kiki, Bandana, Angel, the guy with the mustache, the other ladies and some other guys go up HARD against some terrorists operating around Syria,…
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“Film critics are writers, and they are hostile and uneasy in the presence of a visual phenomenon.” That quote appears in Gregory Battock’s 1967 paperback, The New American Cinema. The speaker…
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I’ve never been one of those guys who sits around the house in a sexy underwear-diaper. Until now. You know what’s great about Pretty Models All In A Row? Star Ed…
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Well, it finally arrived. I’d been wishing on a star for ages and the star came through for me. Turns out that I wasn’t ready for it. Dave Savage runs a…
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You drive cars. You eat sandwiches. You pet dogs. You drink alcohol. You talk on the phone. And, you drive more cars. That’s life. And that’s essentially what happens in Miami…
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At this point, the act of watching unquestionably insane holiday-themed entertainment has eased its way out of my life. The older I get, the more respite I crave. Especially during the…
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This morning, a package was left on my doorstep. It was quite heavy. There was no address, no return address, and no postage — only a small stain near the bottom,…
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Is it possible to invest yourself in a 77 minute film that, for the most part, can be said to reach its creative zenith when a man with plastic fangs bites…
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You can never be too patient. For the past fifty years, French trash dilettante Jean Rollin has steadily cultivated an obsession with breasts, pubes, and their respective placement within the canon…
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If you’re gonna go crazy, this is the way to do it. Harps pluck and a forest sways. Women kiss and a rain begins. Knives slit and a river heaves. With…
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The opening ten minutes of this film features a blood-splashed toilet, a kid inexplicably vomiting next to a tour bus, and a grande metaphor for showbiz deterioration. Usually, such artful insight…
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Pragmatic wisdom tells us that nothing is perfect. Maybe so, but then how do we account for Larry Clinton’s 1938 recording of “My Reverie”? Kurt Vonnegut’s Slapstick? Tom Hanson’s The Zodiac…