Geek Maggot Bingo begins with a quote: “If you cut a face lengthwise, urinate on it and trample on it with straw sandals, it is said the skin will come off.…
Browsing Tag
Image Entertainment DVD
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One night, I was really high. I floated down a YouTube rabbit hole, as one is wont to do when high. That’s when I discovered video game walkthroughs, which are recordings…
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At its heart, They Don’t Cut the Grass Anymore is a film about class. We’ve got the richie riches with their grand suburban homes, perfectly manicured lawns, and cocaine. And then…
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If you’ve never listened to the song “Night and Day” by Al B. Sure!, you should. With its killer hooks and camp theatrics, this song has the power to get anyone…
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A girl in a school uniform approaches a guy in a dim alley. She stares and smiles at him. “For 30 grand, you can go the mile.” The man raises an…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. At seventeen, I bought a four-track cassette recorder. My dream was to write and record songs in the style of Nirvana and…
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Open up! The Devil is comin’ at ya with a big, wet (French) kiss! The French. You just can’t stop ’em. Every time I turn around, a new vintage trash-horror film…
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John Lennon opened the caustic and cleansing “Plastic Ono Band” with the library sound effect of a solitary church bell. The early minutes of Jess Franco’s Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein utilize…
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Sometimes, all you really need is a rubber skull mask and a dark, rainy night. Imagine Jess Franco directing a script by Andy Milligan. There would be period costumes, whipping, and…
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Spiritual lightning has struck again. Walking home from work, I was seized by psychic thunderclaps, revealing themselves as screeching female voices: “Find the Dance Costumes By Eros! Find the Special Electronic…
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The Transylvania Chamber of Commerce just opened their second bottle of French cognac tonight. They’re celebrating because they’ve figured out a surefire way to drum up some cash-flow during the tourist…
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Poor Eduardo. With Blood of the Vampires, fab director Gerry De Leon returns for his second and final atypical vampire film for Hemisphere Pictures. Like The Blood Drinkers (1966), De Leon…
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After 90 minutes of duotone dreams, I’m certain of one thing: The Blood Drinkers is a vampire film like no other. Director Gerry De Leon, a Hemisphere Pictures/Blood Island mainstay, steeps…
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You’re just in time. Our tiny vessel was beginning to leave port. As the salty air swifts clearer and the sleaze bubbles just below the water’s surface, I believe I detect…
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After watching this movie for 86 minutes, I have no answers. But I’m not alone — the synopsis on the back of the DVD case couldn’t even get the facts straight.…
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You’ve got one minute. One minute to scour the caverns of your brain, in search of the greatest example of successful, zero-budget, strange filmmaking enthusiasm that ever dared to load a…
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I love being caught off guard. Chances are slim, but every once in awhile, an unheard-of film jumps up and slaps me in the face. Hello, Hands of Blood. Movies like…
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Among the moldy cardboard and layers of dust in the back corner of your attic lies a box of mysterious old Super 8 reels, all shot way before you were born…
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Summer is here! It’s time to surf!! AND DIE!!! Richard just graduated from college. He works with his father Otto at a science lab. After a car accident paralyzes his friend’s…