The back cover of Blood Orgy of the Leather Girls warns that there are “assorted dissections, dismemberments, castrations, disembowelments, tortures, knife fights, cold-blooded shootings, drug hallucination ‘freak out’ scenes, and philosophical…
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Remember in high school when you heard that smoking banana peels would get you high? Then some kid who may or may not have been you totally tried it? And remember…
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All aboard the Terror Express! Making stops at Smutville, Whoresburg, and Rapey-Rape-Town. Dining car is in the rear. Please move about the aisles carefully; the entire train is dripping in sleaze.…
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All Hail, Walpurgis Night! The Witches’ Sabbath is nigh. Light the bonfires and celebrate! The day itself is named after Saint Walpurga. I’m not completely sure why, unless she is the…
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I’ve never been a woman. But I’ve met some, and the one thing that all three of them had in common was that they do not enjoy watching a strange man…
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My final year at West Irondequoit High School involved me spending a lot of time in a thin, grey video editing bay. For class, and sometimes for my own amusement, I…
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If you are a person who likes movies, Run Coyote Run is a conflict of interest. Renee Harmon and James Bryan had a hand in some of the most remarkably defective…
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Some partygoers count down the final moments of 1959. They wear frilly dresses and dance a Congo line across a hotel ballroom. Happy New Year! One woman gets sucked into a…
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“Please give a big, warm welcome to the men behind Black Devil Doll From Hell and Tales From The Quadead Zone — Chester and Keefe Turner!” The beyond-sold-out crowd at Cinefamily…
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I spent a lot of 2013 on a plane, which means I spent a lot of 2013 reading and watching movies and trying not to kill the guy poaching my armrest.…
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Like me, you’ve probably lived on this planet for your entire life. In that time, you’ve seen it all. Mayors. Food fights. Snowmen. The works. Let’s face facts. There’s nothing new…
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For many years, it was rumored that Turkish people were incapable of making boring movies. DEBUNKED! Süper adam Istanbul’da is a giallo-gangster-super-hero movie from the director of The Dead Don’t Talk.…
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A man is riding a motorcycle. Blue jean bell-bottoms, long stringy hair, the open road. He’s wearing a helmet because safety first. The helmet says J.C. This could stand for anything…
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An idyllic day in the swampy township of Belews Creek. We sweep across gray skies and brown grass. A flyer tacked to a dead tree reads: SAMMY & EARL “THE FIX-IT…
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If you have a mouth, then you love Doritos. And since you love Doritos, you know that they’ve got some EXTREME flavors. There’s “Ranched Dipped Hot Wings” and “Chili Heatwave” and…
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The description on the back of the VHS box reads: “A bloody film of suspense and passion in the style of Friday The 13th.” Noche Infernal is not in the style…
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There are many, many types of power—solar, wind, black, white, to name a few. There’s the power of you, the power of positive thinking, the power to make grown men cry,…
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Sometimes, all you want to do is stay at home and sit on your couch. You love your couch. It’s so comfortable! You particularly love how it’s right in front of…
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“Giallo” is slang for “stylish Italian slasher.” Giallo movies are a lot like cannibal movies. They’re repetitive, simplistic, and defined by over-the-top sleaze. If you watch enough of them, they become…
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This movie has taught me two important things about phone sex: First of all, it’s not phone sex. It’s phone fantasy, which is, as we all know, pronounced “fawntasy.” Second, phone…