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Reviews

  • Reviews

    Born of the Wind (1964)

    In issue 27 of Marvel Two-In-One, Ben Grimm (aka The Thing from the Fantastic Four) and his blind girlfriend Alicia are vacationing in London. But even on vacation, Grimm is his…

  • Reviews

    Brainsucker, The (1988)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Woolworth’s interiors. A hunchback in a courtroom. Someone moaning “braaaaaiiiin suuuuckaaah” through a anger pedal. Five minutes down and I’m already exhausted.…

  • Reviews

    Bugged (1996)

    This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1990s Trash-Horror Odyssey. My co-worker’s sister graduated from college last year. I can’t remember what…

  • Reviews

    C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud (1989)

    Previously on C.H.U.D.:  Zzzzzzz. . . .  Look, I have tried watching C.H.U.D. a thousand times and I have fallen asleep every single time. On paper, it is a certifiable hit:…

  • Reviews

    Call Me Tonight (1986)

    The Japanese toy powerhouse known as Bandai has made billions off of the Power Rangers alone, but there are far more to its holdings. The company also carries toy licenses for…

  • Reviews

    Camp Blood (1999)

    This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1990s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The best way to get a point across is to yell. For…

  • Reviews

    Camp Blood X: Animated (2023)

    The Camp Blood series is about killer clowns in the woods who hack up sexed-up campers. If this sounds suspiciously like the Friday the 13th series, you are not incorrect. Instead…

  • Reviews

    Cannibal Campout (1988)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Normal film: “I would like to have sex with you.” Cannibal Campout: “You can suck my cock and I’ll lick your pussy.”…

  • Reviews

    Cannibal Hookers (1987)

    Cannibals. Hookers. Cannibal Hookers. The title tells you everything you need to know. A hooker struts down the Sunset Strip. A john picks her up. They go back to her place…

  • Reviews

    Captives (1988)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. One dead dog, one knifed babysitter, and one almost-smothered baby. Welcome back to New Jersey. Hot on the profit trail of Video…

  • Reviews

    Cards of Death (1986)

    Shadows stalk the night. Some belong to desperate men in hobo masks; others to switchblade-wielding new wave dominatrixes. But they’re all cast against the urine-soaked asphalt by the throbbing pulse of…

  • Reviews

    Carnage (1984)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Before the opening credits of Carnage, a groom shoots his bride in the face with a pistol. Then, he shoots himself. Andy…

  • Reviews

    Carnival Of Blood (1970)

    Nothing feels like those “First Half of the 70s” American Horror films. With no formula in place, they did whatever they thought would scare people. And, that involved actual scare tactics,…

  • Reviews

    Carrier, The (1988)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Adults wearing Hefty bags argue over the proprietorship of cats and apocalyptic chaos ensues. This garners my utmost respect. With George Romero-lite…

  • Reviews

    Cemetery Sisters (1987)

    Leslie and her beau have just gotten hitched. They cuddle by the fireplace. Suddenly another woman stabs the husband in the back over and over and over again. Just when you…

  • Reviews

    Censored (1965)

    Ideas must be challenged! Barry Mahon is our only hope. In 1965, the work of exploitation renaissance man Barry Mahon (The Beast that Killed Women) was at a peak. But, the…

  • Reviews

    Centipede Horror (1982)

    Every single time it rains, centipedes descend upon my apartment, much like white people heading to Burning Man. If you’ve never seen a centipede, then imagine Eugene Levy’s eyebrows, only with…

  • Reviews

    Christmas Evil (1980)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The winter holidays and nostalgia go hand in hand. Even for psychopathic Santa Claus obsessives. While most low-rent, holiday-inspired horror films evoke…

  • Reviews

    Cinemagic (1985)

    Two film critics sit in a dark theater, just like Siskel and Ebert, only their names are Phillips and Brill. Phillips leaves the top four buttons of his shirt open so…

  • Reviews

    Class Reunion Massacre (1978)

    Bizarro slasher or Christian scare film? Wait. Don’t run away! If I’m going to get to the bottom of this, I’ll need all the help I can get. This is a…

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