Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. A poor man’s George Plimpton introduces Splatter: Architects Of Fear: “It is the year two thousand and two. The world has been…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Did Jason Vorhees ever drive a speedboat? Srigala is an Indonesian rip-off of Friday the 13th. But instead of a killer exacting…
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I’ve never written a review in a Speedo before but there’s no time like the present. It’s blue, it’s tight, it says “MAMA RIDES” on the butt. I don’t know what…
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Is this it? Yes. This is it. No matter who you are, there are moments in life when all sense of direction disappears. These moments may originate with tragedy, or simply…
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Let’s talk horror. We of course know the classic horror stories—the ones with Freddy, Jason, Michael, Leatherface, and a whole bunch of forgettably attractive white people. These fictional, goopy, squishy barnstormers…
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What if I told you there was a movie where ladies in the state penitentiary start a riot and discuss the finer points of cock size? What if told you they’re…
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The most beautiful visuals on the planet aren’t found on tropical beaches or the walls of the Louvre — they’re found in experimental Super 8 films. Especially when these movies include…
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For many years, it was rumored that Turkish people were incapable of making boring movies. DEBUNKED! Süper adam Istanbul’da is a giallo-gangster-super-hero movie from the director of The Dead Don’t Talk.…
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Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story is a film that could’ve only been made by a highly intelligent professional pot-smoker. No, no, not me, please. It’s Todd Haynes. This man, of course,…
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It’s funny how the passage of time can affect a film. Take this one, for instance. Ridiculous? An absolute bore? To stuffy minds of earlier decades, perhaps those descriptions are apt.…
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If you’re gonna go crazy, this is the way to do it. Harps pluck and a forest sways. Women kiss and a rain begins. Knives slit and a river heaves. With…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Chester Novell Turner, where in the world were you? Here’s an infallible theory. Shot on video (SOV) horror films in the 1980s were…
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As Tales Of A Salesman begins, we see smoke and abstract colors. A voice channels Oliver Hardy: “Hello out there! I’m a poltergeist, sent down here to help salesmen! I’m the…
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There will never be a moment in time when aliens aren’t cool. By that logic, the same goes for Tartarus. John has spent his life scamming people for large sums of…
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Let’s talk desserts. Pie, cheesecake, cookies, brownies, that ice cream cake you bake in the oven but somehow doesn’t melt. I don’t know what sorcery that is, but I know I…
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All aboard the Terror Express! Making stops at Smutville, Whoresburg, and Rapey-Rape-Town. Dining car is in the rear. Please move about the aisles carefully; the entire train is dripping in sleaze.…
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This might be the longest 77 minutes of your life. But at least it’s filmed in Psycho-Rama. There’s nothing quite like a Stinker With A Gimmick. Allegedly presented in Psycho-Rama, a…
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If I had to choose a dystopian wasteland to call home, the one in Terror of the Disgusting Space Worms From Outer Space would definitely be a top-fiver. Mary and Larry…
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This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Here’s even more proof that everyone involved in the early 1980s home…
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This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The end credits just rolled on Terror on Tour. I think I…