All Posts By

Joseph A. Ziemba

  • Features

    Exquisites 2006: Films Of The Year

    A few months ago, I had a conversation with a co-worker named Mike. Mike: “So, you like horror movies?” Me: “Yeah.” Mike: “Sweet. Seen anything scary lately? I like the scary…

  • Reviews

    Legacy Of Satan (1976)

    This movie is hideously beautiful. Originally a XXX adult film shot by the director of Deep Throat and starring Sandra “Last House On The Left” Peabody, Legacy Of Satan was shorn…

  • Reviews

    Erotic Rites Of Frankenstein, The (1972)

    You’ve got to fight for your rites. Reverb flutters from the coattails of Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein and there lies The Rites Of Frankenstein. A direct-yet-indirect follow up to the supreme…

  • Reviews

    Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein (1972)

    John Lennon opened the caustic and cleansing “Plastic Ono Band” with the library sound effect of a solitary church bell. The early minutes of Jess Franco’s Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein utilize…

  • Reviews

    Alison’s Birthday (1979)

    “I’ll be glad when Wednesday is over.” I’m with you, Alison! Don’t take that the wrong way. In keeping with the tendencies of 1970s/80s Australian horror (Frenchman’s Farm and Deadly Possession,…

  • Reviews

    Madman (1981)

    I pulled exactly one all-nighter in college, then barfed the next day. Madman ushers in all-nighter number two for me. No puke yet. I am on a roll! This movie takes…

  • Reviews

    Werewolf of Woodstock, The (1975)

    You can mess with Dick Clark. You can mess with Dick Clark’s friends. You can even mess with Dick Clark’s family. But you can’t mess with Dick Clark’s dune buggy. That’s…

  • Reviews

    Corpse Grinders, The (1971)

    Some people work on automobiles. Others perform delicate surgery. Others still, practice law. However, only one person can claim ownership of The Corpse Grinders. His name is Ted V. Mikels. He…

  • Reviews

    Possession Of Nurse Sherri, The (1978)

    If you’re only familiar with the name “Sherry” through novelty hits from Frankie Valli and Journey, you’ve got a lot to learn. Al Adamson is here to help. But Adamson is…

  • Reviews

    Three on a Meathook (1973)

    It’s the middle of nowhere. A watch stops. A car dies. It’s twenty to midnight and a thunderstorm approaches. So sets the stage for Three on a Meathook, the wavering, semi-sparkling…

  • Reviews

    Blood Stalkers (1978)

    If there was a “least likely to succeed” award at Trash-Horror High, it would’ve been given it to Blood Stalkers. Then, at the ten year reunion, we’d all look like assholes.…

  • Reviews

    Sadist with the Red Teeth, The (1970)

    Belgians are known for their waffles, beer, fries, and chocolate. Now, I understand. With so much time spent on eating and drinking, who has time for orthodox filmmaking? Jean-Louis van Belle…

  • Reviews

    Honeymoon Of Terror (1961)

    A film that opens with “Directed By Perri” and closes with “Finis” suggests a certain sophistication. After all, a singularly named director can only point to Europe. We all know what…

  • Reviews

    Death By Invitation (1971)

    Death By Invitation proves that “Women’s Lib” has always been a good thing. During colonial times, Lise is dragged through a town square. Some of the locals wear KISS make-up and…

  • Reviews

    Night of the Skull (1976)

    Sometimes, all you really need is a rubber skull mask and a dark, rainy night. Imagine Jess Franco directing a script by Andy Milligan. There would be period costumes, whipping, and…

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