Droid begins with a shot of stars zooming in space, which can only mean one thing: an opening text crawl à la Star Wars: “In the beginning, the Dominants left Earth,…
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Sixty minutes into Wendigo, two men paddle down a river in a canoe. This is not surprising. Because up until this point, most of the movie is made up of people…
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The hoi polloi mingle at a black tie birthday party for a teenager. Think of it as a really fancy bat mitzvah, only Japanese. A singer belts out “Happy Birthday Dear…
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A bloody hand reaches out from a lake and drowns a lady in a rowboat. Meanwhile, a blind girl plays with a headless doll and a dead chicken hangs from a…
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In the 1940 short From Nurse To Worse, The Three Stooges perfected one of their finest recurring gags. A waiter exits a kitchen, carrying a full plate of food. The Stooges,…
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Every airport bookstore and magazine stand has a special section just for James Patterson’s oeuvre. We’re talking Along Came a Spider, Kiss the Girls, the Alex Cross series, etc. He has…
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Bleeding Skull! Video was a collaboration with our friends at Mondo, the art boutique of the Alamo Drafthouse, that existed from 2014-17. The Cards of Death limited edition VHS was the…
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In 1988, L’Trimm released a Top 40 rap single called “Cars That Go Boom.” It told the story of how Bunny D and Lady Tigra from L’Trimm were really into cars…
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There is roadkill on the street. Blood. Flies. Matted fur. Stomach smeared on the pavement. It’s a cat, or rather what’s left of one. The camera focuses shakily on the carcass.…
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The Night of the Living Babes is directed by Gregory Dark, which is not his real name. His birth name is Gregory Hippolyte Brown. If your parents name you Gregory Hippolyte…
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In Louis Malle’s Elevator To The Gallows, there’s a scene of Jeanne Moreau walking down a Paris street at night. The depth of field blurs the background, so that Moreau’s face…
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“In 1973, NASA launches Skylab Space Station into orbit. The objective: To perform a series of highly classified experiments that could not take place on Earth. In 1979, Skylab re-enters Earth’s…
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Singh! You got the goods! You’ve left my mind spinning as my heart pines for the joys of scantily clad women wearing grotesque Halloween masks and vampire teeth. Nothing makes sense…
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A few years ago, my parents invited me to a Paul McCartney concert. I was skeptical. But my dad’s excitement was infectious. It made me happy to see him so happy.…
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I was reading a news article today about some shady, opportunistic Chinese entrepreneur in Mozambique. He thought North America was part of Europe. Then he asked the journalist, “What is Portugal…
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“My name is Christina Ruth Cromwell. . . . I think my stepfather is trying to murder my mother.” Cue the sweeping strings and ominous horns. And wouldn’t you know it,…
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This movie is directed by Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, aka Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington from Welcome Back, Kotter. He also plays the lead. This movie also stars Karen Black. She is not the…
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In every movie, the lead character should have a cool name. On very rare occasions, the lead actor’s real name is cooler than the character’s name. Weng Weng is a better…
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As Tales Of A Salesman begins, we see smoke and abstract colors. A voice channels Oliver Hardy: “Hello out there! I’m a poltergeist, sent down here to help salesmen! I’m the…
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Two film critics sit in a dark theater, just like Siskel and Ebert, only their names are Phillips and Brill. Phillips leaves the top four buttons of his shirt open so…