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Reviews

  • Reviews

    Blood Beat (1982)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Never underestimate the power of a Samurai-induced orgasm. Blood Beat is an experimental semi-slasher that takes place during the Christmas season. Christmas…

  • Reviews

    Blood Brothers (1989)

    There is no greater horror sub-genre than the one known as “shitty kids.” And no shitty kids are shittier than the shitty kids in Blood Brothers. In the sun-bleached wasteland known…

  • Reviews

    Blood Cult (1985)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Every trend needs a defining trendsetter. In the case of SOV trash, it wasn’t mullets or acid wash jeans or people riding…

  • Reviews

    Blood Drinkers, The (1966)

    After 90 minutes of duotone dreams, I’m certain of one thing: The Blood Drinkers is a vampire film like no other. Director Gerry De Leon, a Hemisphere Pictures/Blood Island mainstay, steeps…

  • Reviews

    Blood Frenzy (1988)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. If you enjoyed The Dream Team (group therapy eld trip) and The Hills Have Eyes (assault on an RV), you’re in luck.…

  • Reviews

    Blood Games (1990)

    At some point during your youth, you got on a bus and went on a school field trip. Maybe to the science museum or the botanical gardens or that sad petting…

  • Reviews

    Blood Harvest (1985)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Tiny Tim is kneeling at an altar, weeping, and covered in clown make-up. He’s sweaty. I’ve been waiting my whole life for…

  • Reviews

    Blood Hunger (1968)

    There is roadkill on the street. Blood. Flies. Matted fur. Stomach smeared on the pavement. It’s a cat, or rather what’s left of one. The camera focuses shakily on the carcass.…

  • Reviews

    Blood Of The Vampires (1971)

    Poor Eduardo. With Blood of the Vampires, fab director Gerry De Leon returns for his second and final atypical vampire film for Hemisphere Pictures. Like The Blood Drinkers (1966), De Leon…

  • Reviews

    Blood Of The Virgins (1967)

    Is it possible to invest yourself in a 77 minute film that, for the most part, can be said to reach its creative zenith when a man with plastic fangs bites…

  • Reviews

    Blood Of The Zombie (1961)

    Blood Of The Zombie opens with this declaration: ”For all you lovers of high class music and art, The Breeding Room has a special treat for you!” So does director Barry…

  • Reviews

    Blood Orgy Of The Leather Girls (1988)

    The back cover of Blood Orgy of the Leather Girls warns that there are “assorted dissections, dismemberments, castrations, disembowelments, tortures, knife fights, cold-blooded shootings, drug hallucination ‘freak out’ scenes, and philosophical…

  • Reviews

    Blood Orgy Of The She-Devils (1972)

    Spiritual lightning has struck again. Walking home from my train commute, I was seized by psychic thunderclaps, revealing themselves as screeching female voices. “Find the Dance Costumes By Eros! Find the…

  • Reviews

    Blood Stalkers (1978)

    If there was a “least likely to succeed” award at Trash-Horror High, it would’ve been given it to Blood Stalkers. Then, at the ten year reunion, we’d all look like assholes.…

  • Reviews

    Blood Tracks (1985)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. If it was 1985 and you were in a band called Easy Action, what would it take to change your name to…

  • Reviews

    Blood Voyage (1977)

    Well, somebody was into boats. And boobs. I love symmetry! Psychiatrist Dr. Jules, spread-eagled on a pool float, is speaking to his naked daughter on the telephone. Thereafter, they’re joined on…

  • Reviews

    Bloody Friday (1974)

    T.G.I.F.? The elementary understanding of The Cat Scream was to be demolished in the wake of Ferd and Beverly Sebastian’s Rocktober Blood. For in that film, this badge of machismo gallantry…

  • Reviews

    Bloody Mansion Death (1982)

    I went for a walk. The Shangri-Las were on my headphones. The roads were quiet and the sky was overcast. The only things that existed were Mary Weiss’s dual-tracked vocals, reverb…

  • Reviews

    Bloody Moon (1980)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey! On the seventh day, God rested. On the eighth day, Jess Franco made a slasher. It was a very good week. In December…

  • Reviews

    Bloody New Year (1987)

    Some partygoers count down the final moments of 1959. They wear frilly dresses and dance a Congo line across a hotel ballroom. Happy New Year! One woman gets sucked into a…

  • Reviews

    Boardinghouse (1982)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Does this film even exist? May, 1984. A handful of teens pile into a drive-in outside of Long Island, New York. That…

  • Reviews

    Boogeyman, The (1980)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. An analyst once surmised that my lifelong obsession with trash-horror films was simply a substitute for confronting the “horrific” hurdles in my life.…

  • Reviews

    Bounty Hunters, The (1985)

    Video 2 Video strikes like the cobra. From the opening logo with wobbly synths to the final fade out that had me sitting there for 10 seconds before I said “Oh,…

  • Reviews

    Brainsucker, The (1988)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Woolworth’s interiors. A hunchback in a courtroom. Someone moaning “braaaaaiiiin suuuuckaaah” through a anger pedal. Five minutes down and I’m already exhausted.…

  • Reviews

    Cannibal Campout (1988)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Normal film: “I would like to have sex with you.” Cannibal Campout: “You can suck my cock and I’ll lick your pussy.”…

  • Reviews

    Captives (1988)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. One dead dog, one knifed babysitter, and one almost-smothered baby. Welcome back to New Jersey. Hot on the profit trail of Video…

  • Reviews

    Cards of Death (1986)

    Shadows stalk the night. Some belong to desperate men in hobo masks; others to switchblade-wielding new wave dominatrixes. But they’re all cast against the urine-soaked asphalt by the throbbing pulse of…

  • Reviews

    Carnage (1984)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Before the opening credits of Carnage, a groom shoots his bride in the face with a pistol. Then, he shoots himself. Andy…

  • Reviews

    Carnival Of Blood (1970)

    Nothing feels like those “First Half of the 70s” American Horror films. With no formula in place, they did whatever they thought would scare people. And, that involved actual scare tactics,…

  • Reviews

    Carrier, The (1988)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Adults wearing Hefty bags argue over the proprietorship of cats and apocalyptic chaos ensues. This garners my utmost respect. With George Romero-lite…

  • Reviews

    Censored (1965)

    Ideas must be challenged! Barry Mahon is our only hope. In 1965, the work of exploitation renaissance man Barry Mahon (The Beast that Killed Women) was at a peak. But, the…

  • Reviews

    Centipede Horror (1982)

    Every single time it rains, centipedes descend upon my apartment, much like white people heading to Burning Man. If you’ve never seen a centipede, then imagine Eugene Levy’s eyebrows, only with…

  • Reviews

    Christmas Evil (1980)

    Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The winter holidays and nostalgia go hand in hand. Even for psychopathic Santa Claus obsessives. While most low-rent, holiday-inspired horror films evoke…

  • Reviews

    Cinemagic (1985)

    Two film critics sit in a dark theater, just like Siskel and Ebert, only their names are Phillips and Brill. Phillips leaves the top four buttons of his shirt open so…

  • Reviews

    Class Reunion Massacre (1978)

    Bizarro slasher or Christian scare film? Wait. Don’t run away! If I’m going to get to the bottom of this, I’ll need all the help I can get. This is a…