Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Bobbi Young, your life is calling. And it has very good news. The first ten minutes of Heavy Metal Massacre consists of…
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Joseph A. Ziemba
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Don’t love Hauntedween for the title alone. Love it for the integrity. This film positions its most unattractive assets — the annoying…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Tommy loses himself in the magic of a Walkman. He closes his eyes and whispers, “I can’t hear nuthin’ anymore.” A video-length…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. If this is college, I hereby revoke my degree. Somewhere between the sexual melancholy of The Last American Virgin and the juicy…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Fatal Images introduced the concepts of wearing one’s pajamas under one’s clothes (“It saves time at night!”) and decorating police stations with…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. I don’t just live life. I attack it. So when the theme song from Fatal Games told me to “Take it to…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Don’t Open Till Christmas is a raunchy UK slasher about a guy that kills people who are dressed like Santa Claus. You…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The French have their talons in me. I’m always on the lookout for another Ogroff, which happens to be the apex of…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. A succubus rubs the crotch of a man who is not interested in having his crotch rubbed. Thirty seconds later, guts are…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. I just slid my keycard to get into the Star Body Health Spa, but it wouldn’t work. Fuck this computer shit. Death…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The Noid does not live comfortably today. His royalty checks from Domino’s Pizza dried up long ago. Nintendo won’t even return his…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The winter holidays and nostalgia go hand in hand. Even for psychopathic Santa Claus obsessives. While most low-rent, holiday-inspired horror films evoke…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. What is deadly love? Deadly love is carving a loved one’s name in your palm. Deadly love is defending your girlfriend with…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Adults wearing Hefty bags argue over the proprietorship of cats and apocalyptic chaos ensues. This garners my utmost respect. With George Romero-lite…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. One dead dog, one knifed babysitter, and one almost-smothered baby. Welcome back to New Jersey. Hot on the profit trail of Video…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Normal film: “I would like to have sex with you.” Cannibal Campout: “You can suck my cock and I’ll lick your pussy.”…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Woolworth’s interiors. A hunchback in a courtroom. Someone moaning “braaaaaiiiin suuuuckaaah” through a anger pedal. Five minutes down and I’m already exhausted.…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Does this film even exist? May, 1984. A handful of teens pile into a drive-in outside of Long Island, New York. That…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. If it was 1985 and you were in a band called Easy Action, what would it take to change your name to…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. If you enjoyed The Dream Team (group therapy eld trip) and The Hills Have Eyes (assault on an RV), you’re in luck.…