The Godfather is considered to be one of the most influential and greatest films blah blah blah it’s 175 minutes long. And sure, it doesn’t actually feel 175 minutes long. Maybe it only feels 170 minutes long. 2001: A Space Odyssey is blah blah visionary blah blah changed cinema blah blah at certain points, this movie feels long. You can admit it, it’s OK. 5 Dark Souls Part II: Roots of Evil is 164 minutes long, but that movie feels like a year. In fact, it’s still playing right now.
What if I told you that it’s possible for an incredible film to be less than two hours long? It’s true. This is something that has been done; I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Now what if I told you that it’s possible for a truly unforgettable movie to have a runtime of less than 60 minutes? This is where we separate filmmakers like whatever jabroni directed The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (201 minutes) from the creative, dedicated geniuses who actually care about craft and pacing and has compassion for the audience. To tell a story in under an hour takes incredible restraint and a sense of artful control. My father has never once in his life told a story in under an hour, so believe me, I know how hard this is. One must commit to the heart of the story, brutally cut any excess, and stay focused on what really matters: a slimy, gurgling monster that eats young coeds.
Four college students head out to the hot springs for a weekend of light gambling. They check into a guesthouse that’s run by an archaeologist with something to hide. The house smells bad; I imagine it smells like New York City in the summer. Yes, that bad. Deep in the pond, a writhing, slimy, goopy monster stirs. It is covered in petroleum jelly and deadly tentacles. There is no head. There is no face. There is only a hunger for humans. This is the thing abandoned by god. It has followed “a different evolutionary path.” It is pure evil. Or maybe it just wants to be loved. Don’t we all? From there, the young ladies get terrorized. Mirrors are smashed. Bodies are discovered. Heads are torn off. Also, there is still that smell.
Guzoo packs a potent punch that will leave an impression on your soul. It is stuffed with practical effects and gallons of blood and entrails. Imagine, if you will, a garden hose on full blast that’s flopping around in the yard. Now imagine that it’s spraying blood and it’s inside a guesthouse and ruining the decor. Writer/director Kazuo ‘Gaira’ Komizu created what most filmmakers don’t have the discipline to achieve: a full, engaging, cohesive story with accomplished, amazing practical effects, all in a runtime of 40 minutes. Like the squishy, 50-minute body-melting opus Cyclops, Guzoo is a standout in Japan’s V-Cinema wave, shorter films that were created just for home video in the 1980s. Guzoo is proof that you don’t need squillions of dollars and a soundstage to create an epic. All you need is focus and drive. Gaira went on to write and direct adult titles, but he never made a sequel to Guzoo, and for this our world remains a little less brighter.
Note: For this review, we watched a bootleg DVD-R of a VHS rip with English subtitles. A lower quality version is available to watch via YouTube.
