Reviews

Eaten Alive!: A Tasteful Revenge (1999)

I often wonder what Gary Whitson is like. Is he a genius? Is he a basement dweller? Is he a resourceful, low-budget filmmaker who found his crazy, mixed-up niche in our crazy, mixed-up world?

I really don’t know.

Whitson is the madman behind W.A.V.E Productions. This is how his company works: people send in a script and some money, and then Whitson makes the movie and puts it out. The concept is simple enough. The execution is even simpler—nearly all the movies are filmed in Whitson’s basement, on the same brown plaid couch.

Most of the releases explore standard, garden-variety fetishes. Women put on vinyl minidresses, take off vinyl minidresses, take showers, and repeat. Sometimes women strip in front of vampires or choke each other. Quite a few movies feature women drowning in quicksand. No, I don’t get it either.

But each movie is a peek into someone’s sexual fantasy (pronounced fawntasy). It is often fun. It is sometimes disturbing. But it is always fascinating.

Eaten Alive!: A Tasteful Revenge may be one of the crown jewels of W.A.V.E. Productions. This is a movie that brings triumphant joy and it’s a reminder of what the human race can achieve. We put robots on Mars, we got rid of smallpox, and Gary Whitson made this fucking amazing movie.

A mad scientist tells Stacey (W.A.V.E veteran Debbie D) that he has created a raygun that can enlarge anything. Just think of the possibilities! We can enlarge cows for more meat! More milk!

But that’s not all! The raygun can make anything smaller too. Now doctors can shrink and battle diseases from the inside or our own bodies.

This is the development of the century.

Stacey ends up getting passed over for a promotion. She’s qualified, for sure, but just not attractive enough. Turns out, the clients want someone prettier and sexier. Someone like Robin.

Stacey finds Robin (filmmaker and W.A.V.E favorite Tina Krause) in the shower. This is where you can find 50% of the women in W.A.V.E. Stacey confirms that indeed Robin is prettier and sexier and she must be removed from the equation. Stacey takes out the raygun and shrinks this minx who has stolen her job. Ultra-cheap video effects turn naked Robin into a tiny naked Robin. This alone is worth the price of admission. But then Stacey picks her up and eats her. Down the gullet Robin goes!

And this is when Eaten Alive goes from great to greatest.

Stacey continues to shrink and gulp down more people who happen to get in her way. Nearly all of them are topless.

“Eating your rivals is such a tasteful way of getting revenge.”

At some point, she shrinks and snacks on her boss, the one who passed her over for a promotion. Suddenly we see the inside of Stacey’s gullet. It’s essentially a red tarp standing in for her throat. A hose sprays water unceremoniously on the victim, who, needless to say, is topless.

And this is when Eaten Alive goes from greatest to even more greatest ever of all time.

W.A.V.E Productions is still going strong today, with hundreds of movies under its belt—not including the ones that were filmed only for private collections. The titles tell you everything you want to know:

Hayride Slaughter
Dead in the Pool
Slaughtered Secretaries
Slaughtered Socialites
Sorority Slaughter
Thunder & Lightning 3: Chloroformed Heroines
Strangled 1-7
Trapped 1-6

In a time when studios are putting out stale remakes, reboots, prequels, and sequels, we can count on W.A.V.E to remain pure at heart, even if it’s a little smutty.

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