Imagine, if you will, a long, steady pan of a garden. It’s blurry. You squint to make out some grass…some hedges…maybe some roses. You finally understand what it’s like to have…
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Reviews
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In Louis Malle’s Elevator To The Gallows, there’s a scene of Jeanne Moreau walking down a Paris street at night. The depth of field blurs the background, so that Moreau’s face…
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This is a film by Doris Wishman. This means you are in for less of a film, and more of a surreal experience marked by wooden dialogue, unappetizing sex scenes, shots…
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I pulled exactly one all-nighter in college, then barfed the next day. Madman ushers in all-nighter number two for me. No puke yet. I am on a roll! This movie takes…
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In an interview on the Blu-ray of The Shining, filmmaker Ernest Dickerson said: “The best horror movies are the ones that follow you home.” I love that quote. It’s so simple…
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Some of the most outrageous and memorable horror comic books that I’ve ever read were published by Skywald Publications in the 1970s. “Frankenstein: Book II” was an ongoing story in Skywald’s…
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I know nothing about the facts surrounding Charles Manson and his crimes. But I do know that The Manson Massacre has a scene where a baby gets thrown into a dumpster.…
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My final year at West Irondequoit High School involved me spending a lot of time in a thin, grey video editing bay. For class, and sometimes for my own amusement, I…
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This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1990s Trash-Horror Odyssey. I’ve spent a majority of my life hanging out in video stores.…
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Forget about Mick Jagger and his nineteen nervous breakdowns. Somebody beat him to it. After losing a disturbed patient to the throes of suicide, psychiatrist Dr. Allan Barnes (Paul Stevens) receives…
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High school sucks. Being the new kid is hard. It’s hard to fit in. Stand up to your bullies. Don’t dive into a pool with no water. These are the lessons…
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Imagine alien parasites, which look like very oily, slightly hairy scrotums, taking over humans and turning them into goopy, armored, tentacled, supercharged death machines with robotic arms that are giant power…
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Any film with the word “massacre” in its title makes life one billion times better. Incomprehensibility is a finical beast. Even a dangerous one. When carelessly unleashed, it can lead to…
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A guy at my high school carried the nickname of “Bob Grunge.” He had long, greasy hair, owned several exotic pets, and rarely took showers. I went to his house once…
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You drive cars. You eat sandwiches. You pet dogs. You drink alcohol. You talk on the phone. And, you drive more cars. That’s life. And that’s essentially what happens in Miami…
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I’ll watch any horror movie that features a Swami. Especially if said Swami is capable of mind reading (Son of Dracula), crystal-ball-gazing (Supernatural), or raising spirits from the dead so that…
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It’s a dark and stormy night. It’s a night just like tonight—that is, if it’s dark and stormy where you are. Two lovers hunker down in a dark, abandoned house. It’s…
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I’m glad this wasn’t a real movie. When a self-propelled filmmaker inadvertently captures the idiosyncrasies of a community in lieu of producing an actual “film,” we, the audience, are witness to…
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Wings Hauser is a god among men. A hero. A legend. A king. He is also a criminal defense attorney going up against a satanic cult that’s responsible for grisly human…
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Outside of the Music Box Theatre in Chicago, Janet Lynn (aka Miss Werewolf) looks into the camera and says: “I bet people think we’re nuts around here.” David “The Rock” Nelson…