Short films are like Hi-Chews — bite-size flavor explosions that should be savored before moving onto the next one, and the one after that. Given the bottomless well of compelling shorts that exist, we decided to carve out a space where we could gush about our favorite discoveries. Shorts That Tore Our Heads Off is an ongoing series of articles exploring underseen short films from all centuries. The only criteria for inclusion is that each one has to . . . well, tear our heads off. Every volume will cover five shorts in chronological order that deserve to be appreciated and re-watched anywhere from three to fourteen times before you die.
Hold onto your head!
Zyzak is King (Hugh Stegman, 1981, YouTube)
It’s impossible not to love a movie that contains this line of dialogue: “His genitals were ripped away!” A 16mm student film produced at University of Southern California, Zyzak is King follows Jim, the Dungeonmaster of a computer-based RPG, as he lives vicariously through Zyzak—his warrior alter ego in the game. As the campaign unfolds, we see it played out onscreen as a basement version of Conan the Barbarian with monsters that look like leftovers from Wes Craven’s Swamp Thing. A mutant named Balrog! Atari synth stabs! Brinke Stevens (The Slumber Party Masscre) in her first onscreen role! All of this, plus the greatest computer screen text scroll I’ve ever seen: “ZYZAK JUMPED BY WOLF MAN. MORTAL COMBAT MUST ENSUE. USE FOUR DICE AND ENTIRE ROLL.”
Satanic Cults and Ritual Crime (Unknown, 1990, Syndistar VHS, YouTube)
Devil’s horns up! Materializing from the same era as essential Satanic panic artifacts like Jay’s Journal by Beatrice Sparks, Satanic Cults and Ritual Crime is a 13-minute law enforcement training tape that feels more appropriate for clown school. Through narration, crude infographics, and posed stills that look like excerpts from a lost trash-horror movie, this video delivers a frenzy of surreal untruths. Did you know that “The National Clearinghouse on Satanic Crime in America estimates 50% of the cases of missing children and bizarre murders may be linked directly to Satanic organizations?” If not, no worries. Because you’ll learn how to spot the most dangerous Satanists of all—”the Dabblers” (aka goth kids who play Dungeons & Dragons while listening to Venom)! Now, more than ever, the world needs Satanic cults. Watch this tape and learn how you can do your part.
Rest in Peace (Rachel Amodeo, 1991, YouTube)
In Rest in Peace, it’s always the witching hour—even in the middle of the day. A spellbinding grayscale gothic starring artist Dame Darcy that was shot on 16mm by filmmaker Rachel Amodeo, this is a simple story of sibling rivalry over a large pair of scissors and a key to the afterlife. Every frame of this short feels like a crosshatched Edward Gorey illustration that was zapped into real life using silent film techniques. Ghostly overlapping visuals, synthesizers moaning above twinkling harps, and cemetery resurrections provide an ideal mood for the experimental narrative, which suggests everything from Dark Shadows to The Love Witch. I could watch this once a week for the rest of my life and it would never get old.
Hi, It’s Your Mother (Daniel Sterlin-Altman, 2016, YouTube)
As long as art like this exists, there will never be a reason to lose faith in humanity. Hi, It’s Your Mother is a claymation hallucination that takes the form of a hellish sitcom. The 5-minute short involves a woman named Martha, her self-severed finger, and Adam, her son, who bones his boyfriend Jeffrey while Martha hallucinates in the backyard. There’s no real trajectory to the film, but we don’t need one. Because this is all about diving into a stoned landscape of gorgeous DIY artistry, jokes that actually land, and unexpectedly touching moments of personal connection. Like Twilight Journey and Chainsaw Maid, Hi, It’s Your Mother feels like it dropped out of the sky from an undiscovered dreamland. All the more reason to keep watching the skies.
Satan’s Bite (Dean Puckett, 2018, Vimeo)
There will never be another 3-minute horror movie as satisfying as this one. Satan’s Bite is the living embodiment of Shirley Jackson’s The Witchcraft of Salem’s Village on a microdose level, as we witness the persecution of a woman who has been accused of being a witch in ye olden times. The story is nothing new. But the execution is majestic. Shot silent on one cartridge of Super 8 film with only in-camera edits by director Dean Puckett and producer Rebecca Wolff, the short features dreamlike visuals, a medieval surf score that sounds like the ghost of Link Wray tearing through a graveyard, and delightful intertitles (“I saw her fornicating with a beast in the forest!”). All together, Satan’s Bite resembles Walerian Borowczyk’s The Beast as realized by George and Mike Kuchar in their neighbor’s backyard; minimal, spicy, and endlessly impressive.
Read Shorts That Tore Our Heads Off: Volume 1!
Read Shorts That Tore Our Heads Off: Volume 2!
Read Shorts That Tore Our Heads Off: Volume 3!
Read Shorts That Tore Our Heads Off: Volume 4!
Read Shorts That Tore Our Heads Off: Volume 6!
Read Shorts That Tore Our Heads Off: Volume 7!
Read Shorts That Tore Our Heads Off: Volume 8!
