This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1990s Trash-Horror Odyssey.
Two hunters drink from a bottle and shoot guns in the woods. What could possibly go wrong?
They come across a cabin surrounded by skulls on spikes. What could possibly go wrong?
A decrepit old man with an eyepatch and a neck that looks like a vagina shuffles out of the cabin. He waves the hunters off his land. He warns them about evil spirits. One hunter aims his gun and fires. The old man gasps for air as he utters his final words: “The circle . . . has been broken. The wind whispers, ‘Wendigo!’”
What could possibly go wrong?
Turns out, everything can go wrong. The cabin’s windows blow up and the old man decomposes into a bloody skeleton.
A young lady named Sandy tosses and turns as she sleeps. The ghostly spirit of the old man visits her with a message: She is the chosen one. Sandy is the new gatekeeper between our world (the one where drunk hunters trespass and kill an innocent senior citizen) and the Wendigo’s world (the one where nefarious lizard-monsters have a taste for human flesh). She must “close the circle” and restore balance to the universe. Of course, it’s a woman’s job to clean up the mess idiotic men leave behind, am I right?
Meanwhile, in a nearby cabin, a group of babbling drunk men play poker. Two more guys arrive. One happens to be a Black person. Everyone’s a little surprised. Sensing the racial tension, Leo turns to leave. But they all become friends. Racism is over! The Black guy tells a story about how he tried to sell a cat, but the police arrested him, because “Everyone in this state knows it’s illegal to sell pussy!”
Leo ends up making some “bodacious chili” which looks exactly like a full diaper. Suddenly a beastie with giant jaws full of razor-sharp teeth jumps out of the pot and bites his hand off. This may be the first and only film where a monster attacks from a pot of bodacious chili. It’s like Jaws, only with more beans.
Soon the Wendigo rears its ugly head—it has the body of a well-fed deer, the torso of a gym rat, the temperament of an under-caffeinated man, and formidable antlers. It also has an unquenchable thirst for human blood. Sandy must vanquish the Wendigo before it kills everyone in Michigan.
Frostbiter is an ambitious, goopy, life-affirming joyride with impressive special effects. This isn’t just another low-budget film created by some friends with a camera and a bong. Frostbiter is a carefully planned production where people did the homework and took it seriously. They studied the work of Ray Harryhausen to create their own miniature sets, Claymation beasts, and stop-motion animations. They modeled the photography and monster effects in The Evil Dead to bring the dead to life. For everything else, they learned from the Italian horror masters. But it isn’t just about copying seminal works. Director Tom Chaney utilized everything he learned to create and execute his own vision, and the audience gets to enjoy the result of what can only be endless hours of detailed work. The stop-motion monster effects are beautifully realized, matte backgrounds and miniatures are meticulously crafted, and the make-up effects go well beyond a bottle of fake blood. Even the entire cast gives it their all. The actors are pulled straight from community theaters, save for one: Ron Asheton, the guitarist of the Stooges.
The crowning achievement in Frostbiter is the Wendigo, who stomps, chomps, and chews innocent and not-so-innocent victims. The film expertly moves back and forth between the stop-motion animation and the panicking characters, creating a perfect little world of fatal destruction. You and I will never look at chili the same way again.
