It’s prom 1994, but it’s also a medieval costume party. It’s held in a gothic castle, complete with candelabras, suits of armor, vaulted ceilings, and a public bathroom with those metal…
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Reviews
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Let’s talk cereal. Specifically Lucky Charms. The box promises toasted oat o’s with an explosion of magical marshmallows—you know the ones—pink hearts, orange stars, yellow moons, etc. They’re magically delicious. The…
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The ex-video store copy I have of this lists the category as “WAR”. That might not be completely true. This Video 2 Video extravaganza isn’t quite as good as the previous…
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At some point, every generation inevitably feels that all the good stories have been told and there’s nothing left to say. It makes sense, especially in the 21st century. The more…
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This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1990s Trash-Horror Odyssey. “What’s it feel like to be in a Rocky Nelson movie?” That’s…
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Copperhead is a movie for people who really, really hate snakes. It’s also a movie for people who really, really love guns. It’s also a movie for people who really, really…
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Some people work on automobiles. Others perform delicate surgery. Others still, practice law. However, only one person can claim ownership of The Corpse Grinders. His name is Ted V. Mikels. He…
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The Odyssey is about a man who’s just trying to get back home to his wife. Along the way there are giant cannibals, one-eyed monsters, and sexy ladies who sing to…
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This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1990s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Italians and Floridians are responsible for the most inconceivable trash-horror movies to…
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Imagine you’re in Naples, a picturesque city along the cerulean Mediterranean Sea, a charming Old World city that dates back to the Bronze Age. There are centuries-old palazzos, piazzas, and villas…
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During the opening minutes of this movie, a narrator says: “Due to a rare embryonic mutation, two infants were joined as one flesh and came into this world as freaks.” I…
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In Jean-Luc Godard’s Masculin Féminin, a character explains why he had sex with his cousin at a funeral. It wasn’t a form of rebellion or an act of love. It was…
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Dr. Abe Adams is a scientist who does science things like type on a typewriter and pour frothy liquids from one container into another. He is a serious scientist doing serious…
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It’s really not about the horseman. This isn’t a Sleepy Hollow remake. Curse Of The Headless Horseman was made by Leonard Kirtman, who made Carnival Of Blood. If you haven’t seen…
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The origin stories of many kaiju involve nuclear pollution that awakens and/or mutates a beast, usually on an ancient island or deep in the bowels of Earth. The monsters emerge and…
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If Lita Ford had a baby with Whitesnake’s jeggings, you’d get a song with a searing guitar solo and lyrics like this: “You’re reality is a nightmare, this is what it…
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When I was a kid, I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up. I wanted to treat mostly reptiles and the occasional horse because I found animals to be…
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I wish that I wasn’t allergic to cats. Because if that was the case, I could adopt one. And then, in addition to all the head bumps, cuddles, and belly rubs…
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An idyllic day in the swampy township of Belews Creek. We sweep across gray skies and brown grass. A flyer tacked to a dead tree reads: SAMMY & EARL “THE FIX-IT…
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This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1990s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Sometimes, all you need out of life is to see a dummy…