As human beings, we tend to find comfort in shared experiences. No one grasps this spark of wisdom more than Nick Millard — that’s why he removed most of the mouths…
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Reviews
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1974: The Possession of Altair proves once again that every horror movie would be better if it was shot on Super 8 film. Somewhere in Mexico, Altair and Manuel celebrate their…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. “Caution: Viewing may cause severe damage to your brain cells.” Shot on one-inch video tape in Chicago’s Ukrainian Village, 555 hit the…
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In fourth grade, a police officer came to our class to teach us about drugs. They’re illegal! They’re dangerous! They’re addictive! They will absolutely, without a doubt kill you! Just one…
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A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Fan Film Recreation is a home movie that was made by teenagers. All of the male parts—except for a dad, who is played by…
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Just when you thought it was safe to go in the water, here comes Aatank, the Bollywood version of Jaws. In the first five minutes, an illegitimate child and his friend…
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This movie is about, but not really about, Patty Hearst’s kidnapping. First, a quick refresher: In 1972, an erotic novel called Black Abductor was published. It was about a young heiress…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. A woman has puked. Her son has puked. His boss, his girlfriend, her kitchen cabinets, and a washing machine have puked. I…
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There’s a certain look of a feel-good, fun-for-the-whole-family horror-ish film from the Eighties. It’s got poofy hair, oversized geometric-print tops, and pink windbreakers. Somewhere, a girl is wearing big earrings and…
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Chicago experienced a golden age of repertory film screenings in the early 2000s. And since I had just moved to the city proper, I took full advantage of the situation. From…
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There is a heavy make-out session happening on a couch. Boobs are grabbed. Butts are pawed. Moans are moaned. There is a flash of penis. These are the sights and sounds…
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Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Suffer, little children. The El Griego Show is on the air. There are two sides to every human. Sometimes, there are two…
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In the film Roseland, director Fredric Hobbs stated, “You cannot fart around with love.” He was right. That’s why I love him. Don’t get me wrong. I’d never, ever recommend a…
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This is an updated version of a review that was originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1990s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Human beings need empathy. It’s what keeps us healthy and our minds…
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“In 1973, NASA launches Skylab Space Station into orbit. The objective: To perform a series of highly classified experiments that could not take place on Earth. In 1979, Skylab re-enters Earth’s…
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“I’ll be glad when Wednesday is over.” I’m with you, Alison! Don’t take that the wrong way. In keeping with the tendencies of 1970s/80s Australian horror (Frenchman’s Farm and Deadly Possession,…
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All About Mighty Lady isn’t the Dolly Parton biopic that we’ve all been waiting for. But it’s something just as delightful. After a miniature Death Star flies over Earth, the superhero…
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The time is: the future. The environment is: fucked. Animals are: mutants. Humans are: hunted to near extinction. The ones left: fight, kill, and maraud. But there’s one who rises up…
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Into the Spider-Verse! Somewhere in Ghana, a psychic named Ladyspider and a little person named Oracle guard an ancient bowl. This isn’t a bowl that you can smoke or use to…
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The world could use seven-hundred more Cynthia Rothrocks. Since that’s not possible, it’s our duty to canonize everything about the one that we do have. Cynthia Rothrock is the planet’s foremost…