There’s a career trajectory for teen stars that feels familiar at this point: A popular family sitcom finally ends long past its expiration date, and its young stars clamor for the…
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Annie Choi
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It’s a story we’ve seen over and over and over again: A Hell Witch appears at a “devil hole” along with the Hell Virgin, who is the innocent daughter of the…
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One day we’ll all look back at 2021 with fondness. Instead of remembering the pandemic’s unnecessary sequel, we’ll remember how we spent most of the year still “stuck” inside researching and…
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Let’s talk about monkeys. They have opposable thumbs! They use tools! They cuddle! They laugh! They stress eat! Monkeys are just like us! Like, literally. We share 97% of our DNA.…
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In fourth grade, a police officer came to our class to teach us about drugs. They’re illegal! They’re dangerous! They’re addictive! They will absolutely, without a doubt kill you! Just one…
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The year is 1997. It’s been six years since Twin Peaks has gone off the air, but its influence is still present. There’s a string of shows and very special episodes with a…
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The Odyssey is about a man who’s just trying to get back home to his wife. Along the way there are giant cannibals, one-eyed monsters, and sexy ladies who sing to…
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Unfortunately for me, the name Janie will forever be linked to that Aerosmith song—you know the one. It’s a full diaper of a song by a band who’s major contribution to…
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“Death could never be so cold.” Reggie is a nerd. You can tell because he wears glasses and because he’s “studying physics, biology, computers, and . . . also studying martial…
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Cats. You either love them or love them. Evil Cat begins like all the best stories: An unearthing of a mysterious tomb at a construction site and a rancid smell in…
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Just when you thought it was safe to go in the water, here comes Aatank, the Bollywood version of Jaws. In the first five minutes, an illegitimate child and his friend…
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Some zombie ghosts are having a party in a decrepit flat. They’re listening to music and eating soup while a zombie ghost child beats a lady tied to a bedpost. This…
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In Wim Vink’s Heaven is Only in Hell, you literally watch people eat cheese and drink wine at a very civilized dinner party. In Wim Vink’s Half Past Midnight, you literally…
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At its heart, They Don’t Cut the Grass Anymore is a film about class. We’ve got the richie riches with their grand suburban homes, perfectly manicured lawns, and cocaine. And then…
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If there’s one thing movies have taught us about love, it is this: You can’t make someone love you, no matter how many potions you give or how many spells you…
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A very naked woman is hogtied while disemboweled, gory bodies hang around her. A demon with giant white eyes and a 90s skater haircut ambles through a door with a sign…
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Not everyone wants babies. They’re a lot of work. They need to be fed and bathed and clothed and, like, a whole bunch of other stuff. I’ve heard you need to…
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It’s a dark and stormy night. It’s a night just like tonight—that is, if it’s dark and stormy where you are. Two lovers hunker down in a dark, abandoned house. It’s…
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When I was a kid, I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up. I wanted to treat mostly reptiles and the occasional horse because I found animals to be…
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In elementary school, kids called me Annie Choi-Boy or Annie Fannie. They also called me Ching Chong, which is definitely not racist because I speak fluent Ching Chong. I think we…