Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Thanksgiving can be pretty boring. It’s all stuffing, football, and feigned conversation. Most of the time, everyone just kind of falls asleep…
-
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. While perusing the Yellow Pages for roof repairs, the name “A.J. Hacker & Sons” might stand out. Or, it might not. Prepare…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. When people don’t show up for work in the United States, they get fired. No one is happy. When people don’t show…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Tom Savini has had a very successful mustache for many successful years. Does that have anything to do with the success of…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Night Ripper! is an unbelievable slasher-soap-opera that stars the “Soup Nazi” from SEINFELD. This is also known as the culmination of a…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. “The zombies are aerobicizing, they feel good and everything.” — Linnea Quigley I think we both know what that means. It is…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. ”I’m always ready for some hot action — on the job or off.” After sharing that bit of insight with us (and…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Bobbi Young, your life is calling. And it has very good news. The first ten minutes of Heavy Metal Massacre consists of…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Don’t love Hauntedween for the title alone. Love it for the integrity. This film positions its most unattractive assets — the annoying…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Tommy loses himself in the magic of a Walkman. He closes his eyes and whispers, “I can’t hear nuthin’ anymore.” A video-length…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. If this is college, I hereby revoke my degree. Somewhere between the sexual melancholy of The Last American Virgin and the juicy…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Fatal Images introduced the concepts of wearing one’s pajamas under one’s clothes (“It saves time at night!”) and decorating police stations with…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. I don’t just live life. I attack it. So when the theme song from Fatal Games told me to “Take it to…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Don’t Open Till Christmas is a raunchy UK slasher about a guy that kills people who are dressed like Santa Claus. You…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The French have their talons in me. I’m always on the lookout for another Ogroff, which happens to be the apex of…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. A succubus rubs the crotch of a man who is not interested in having his crotch rubbed. Thirty seconds later, guts are…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. I just slid my keycard to get into the Star Body Health Spa, but it wouldn’t work. Fuck this computer shit. Death…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The Noid does not live comfortably today. His royalty checks from Domino’s Pizza dried up long ago. Nintendo won’t even return his…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. The winter holidays and nostalgia go hand in hand. Even for psychopathic Santa Claus obsessives. While most low-rent, holiday-inspired horror films evoke…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. What is deadly love? Deadly love is carving a loved one’s name in your palm. Deadly love is defending your girlfriend with…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Adults wearing Hefty bags argue over the proprietorship of cats and apocalyptic chaos ensues. This garners my utmost respect. With George Romero-lite…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. One dead dog, one knifed babysitter, and one almost-smothered baby. Welcome back to New Jersey. Hot on the profit trail of Video…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Normal film: “I would like to have sex with you.” Cannibal Campout: “You can suck my cock and I’ll lick your pussy.”…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Woolworth’s interiors. A hunchback in a courtroom. Someone moaning “braaaaaiiiin suuuuckaaah” through a anger pedal. Five minutes down and I’m already exhausted.…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Does this film even exist? May, 1984. A handful of teens pile into a drive-in outside of Long Island, New York. That…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. If it was 1985 and you were in a band called Easy Action, what would it take to change your name to…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. If you enjoyed The Dream Team (group therapy eld trip) and The Hills Have Eyes (assault on an RV), you’re in luck.…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Every trend needs a defining trendsetter. In the case of SOV trash, it wasn’t mullets or acid wash jeans or people riding…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. If you need a step-by-step guide on how to connect a VCR and a TV, you’ve come to the right place. Because…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Tiny Tim is kneeling at an altar, weeping, and covered in clown make-up. He’s sweaty. I’ve been waiting my whole life for…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. We all know that if you have sex, you’re headed straight to hell. We all know that if you defile the Bible,…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Nice people making a nice video about a psychopath that kills a child (and a chihuahua) with a barbecue utensil fashioned as…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. In the early 1980s, my parents installed a beer tap in our wood-paneled basement. The reason? My dad wanted to liven up…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. Suffer, little children. The El Griego Show is on the air. There are two sides to every human. Sometimes, there are two…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. “Caution: Viewing may cause severe damage to your brain cells.” Shot on one-inch video tape in Chicago’s Ukrainian Village, 555 hit the…
-
Originally published in Bleeding Skull! A 1980s Trash-Horror Odyssey. A woman has puked. Her son has puked. His boss, his girlfriend, her kitchen cabinets, and a washing machine have puked. I…
