STAGE FRIGHT (1980)
aka NIGHTMARES
Directed by John D. Lamond
VidAmerica VHS
THE FILM
Australia, I (thought I) knew ye
well.
Somewhere in Endplay,
the truth willed out. Australian
trash-horror is dependable for one
thing, and one thing only: Ultimate
Zzzs. Even the most palatial of
these films (Houseboat
Horror, Alison's
Birthday) requires a slight
proficiency in the art of staying
awake. And nobody wants that hassle.
Therefore, the discovery of Stage
Fright's Ozzie origins led
me to instantly declare the following:
1. This film will be two hours long,
2. This film will be tedious, and
3. I'm not even tired.
80 minutes later, Stage Fright
was over. I was awake, yet fading.
Not bad. Maybe they needed another
hammer-to-the-boob gore scene to
push me over the edge?
Stage Fright is a disjointed,
slightly bizarre slasher which prides
itself on anonymous softcore sex,
bumbling chats, and smutty, full-frontal
kill scenes. That's really all there
is to it. Briefly, a psychologically-scarred
woman named Helen takes part in
a fifth-rate play ("This is
a comedy about death!") while
various cast and crew members eat
the dust. It's The
Flesh And Blood Show redux,
but even cheaper. There's a failed
attempt at artsy photography, a
classy orchestral soundtrack, and
arbitrary tangents which have no
bearing on anything. The violence
is unsettling in a Don't
Open 'Til Christmas kind-of-way
and the sour ending did it up right.
Still, did we really need to see
that play performed? Twice?
The net worth reads like this: Stage
Fright kind of bored me, but
I didn't fall asleep. Bravo, Australia.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The tactful cropping and stretching
made the once-laughable giant breast
from Woody Allen's Everything
You Wanted To Know About Sex
a sobering reality. Think about
that.
EXTRAS
The Riddle Of The Sands
will be available to rent (or bring
home) from VidAmerica in July, 1984!
Schwing!
FINAL THOUGHTS
Color me negligent. The brief Stage
Fright shovels up a few minutes
of odd sleaze, bucking Australia's
usual propensity for numbed-over
horror films. But, that's still
not enough to make it engaging.
If you find a copy for $3 or less,
have a go. I guess.
— Joseph A. Ziemba, 03.27.08 |
Crazy One
Their beeswax
One nose to another
Death Vs. Comedy
|
