INVITATION
TO HELL (1982)
Directed by Michael J. Murphy
Mogul Video VHS
Reviewed 06.09.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
The next time you wake up in the
middle of the night, sweating profusely
from a satanic nightmare (c’mon
we all have ‘em), don’t
forget to write it all down. That
way you can compare notes with this
film; if the two share some guy
wearing a plastic Incredible Hulk
mask, CALL THE COPS!!
According to website The
Zone, UK director Michael J.
Murphy is a lifelong practitioner
of on-the-cheap filmmaking. From
teenage 60s Super 8 epics to 90s
historical pieces, the guy seems
to have been all over the map. So
that’s your context. Here’s
the important part. Invitation
To Hell was released in the
prime era of England’s “Video
Nasties” crusade, the first
of two 50 minute junk horror opuses
that Murphy produced for the home
video market. Before clutching this
film in my hands, I had never heard
of it (maybe Wes Craven had, since
his TV movie from 1984 shares the
same title). Welcome to my nightmare.
There’s a big costume party
going down in a North Devon farmhouse,
complete with the greatest dimestore
monster masks you’ve never
seen. Jackie, our virgin heroine,
arrives at the party by car, only
to be confronted by a mute in the
aforementioned Hulk mask. Waitaminnit
-- virgin?! Soon enough, we find
out that the house is a front for
Satan himself, as he controls various
cult members (?) that live there.
Jackie has been summoned for sacrifice
thanks to her virginal qualities
and spends the rest of the film
trying to escape. Ah, but if life
were only that easy.
Kick it: The mute strongman, Morris,
removes his Hulky mask after the
opening scenes (drat!) and proceeds
to kill off most of the cast in
gruesome fashion. Morris also enjoys
lifting weights in front of his
wall of Penthouse pin-ups, throwing
darts at said pin-ups, and standing
by while a male roommate oogles
his six-pack. Twig-man Rick attempts
to de-virginize Jackie so she can’t
be sacrificed; gets a knife through
the throat for his troubles. Morris
shares a three hour long “fight”
scene with his roommate, after the
guy is possessed by the rubber-masked
Devil. A guy vomits white chunks
after seeing a bloody knife. Someone
is crucified on top of Morris’s
Penthouse shrine (I won’t
say who). The ending is delightfully
downbeat. Where am I?!
Clearly, surreality is unavoidable.
The one-two combo of cryptic plot
advancement and odd camera work
(the shakes, strange angles) make
for a very light-headed 50 minutes.
Synth blurps never go away and it’s
hard to tell exactly why things
are happening throughout the film's
runtime. If you haven’t guessed,
all of that equals a stunning dose
of hallucinogenic weirdness. Forget
about the talky passages. Don’t
mind the atrocious acting. Just
accept it or “He” will
be after you...in your dreams.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
In 2004, some bootleg company called
Miracle Pictures pooped out a cheapo
DVD of this film. By all accounts,
it looks and sounds like Le Garbage.
Luckily, the original VHS tape looks
pretty fantastic. The print is a
bit dark, colors are bold, and damage
is present, but minimal. The audio
is slightly muffled at times, but
seems to be a result of the original
recordings (i.e. the microphone
was placed in the upper corner of
a room for the entire filming process).
EXTRAS
Nah, 50 minutes of nonstop schlock
is enough to tucker anyone out.
Even a video distributor.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I could have used some more Hulk
mask killing, but why hold a grudge?
Invitation To Hell is a
straight shot of clumsy, unexpected
trash. Treat yourself to a copy
at all costs.
Thanks to Dan Budnik for providing
a copy of this film!
|
Hulk smile!
Hulk smoosh!
Hulk confused?!
Poor, poor Hulk
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