EDGE OF THE AXE (1988)
Directed by Joseph Braunstein aka José Ramón Larraz
Forum Home Video VHS
Reviewed 10.12.06
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba

THE FILM
I thought I knew all there was to know about women. I was wrong. Very wrong.

José Ramón Larraz (Vampyres) is no stranger to photographing beautiful women. The wisdom now spreads. Following up his similarly-constructed-yet-completely-dull Rest In Pieces, Edge Of The Axe finds Larraz in the role of omniscient advisor. Open up your ears. In addition to the terrific (and vicious) old school slasher sparks, this film places a firm finger on the pulse of women everywhere. They do not enjoy the term "bodacious ta-tas". They do not appreciate having their names immortalized in impromptu song ("Maria, I'd like to play with your teet-ah!"). They do, however, find terms such as "Memory Logs" and "Central Terminal" to be intensely sexy. So simple, and yet...so complicated.

You have entered the forests of Northern California. A killer, clad in a nifty Michael Myers knock-off mask and rain slicker, enjoys hacking people (and pigs) with a shiny axe. He also hangs around at the car wash. Meanwhile, two complete buffoons (one a computer expert, one an exterminator) drive around and reiterate punchlines. The computer whiz has invented e-mail and the internet. His computer talks as well. Phenomenal. The guy installs an old computer in his new girlfriend's house. She's also a member of the world's worst church choir. The killing continues. A woman weeps about bankruptcy and her younger, cheating husband (the exterminator!). None of this ties together. No matter. Resolution is nothing in the presence of divine wisdom.

Feeling disjointed? Edge Of The Axe lays out as a series of casual contradictions. Despite the mess, the film still yields a pretty good time. Get on the edge: MIDI country rock knocks around with fresh jams from the desk of DJ Jazzy Jeff. Realistic and frightening kill scenes swap space with frequent hilarity. The Sheriff (mid-sized, not fat) flubs lines and mumbles, while speedboat padding passes the time. Larraz shows off a stylish eye whenever the killer shows up, but he tends to play it safe everywhere else. Nobody has sex or flashes the camera, yet the girls get ready for it in a flurry of computer lingo. See? All this and another insight to boot.

I was wrong, but now I'm right. "Teet-ah" is no longer a part of my vocabulary.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
Real quick: The music and sound effects were way too loud. Everything else was on track.

EXTRAS
I feel very tough. Trailers for No Safe Haven ("When Wings Hauser seeks revenge, there's No Safe Haven!" and Mob War ("Yo! We gotta hit The Don!") will flex it out and pump you up.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Forget about Sylvester Stallone circa Cobra. José Ramón Larraz is your new male mentor. Edge Of The Axe is a mash-up of stunning slasher force and hilarious everything-else. Warm up the Central Terminal; your time will not be spent in vain.

Maximum RAM


All in the shades


Terrific!


Alone in the basement