DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974)
Directed by Sean MacGregor/David Sheldon
Video Treasures VHS
Reviewed 08.24.06
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba

THE FILM
Cross-dressing. Generator sabotage. Piranha wrangling. Kids'll do the darndest things!

When you're a kid, nothing in life is ever clear. There's no cohesiveness; no leveled centerpoint. Adolescence is a constant stream of new experiences and wild emotions, often without much explanation. In 1976, François Truffaut would antithesize the childhood experience on film with the release of Small Change. But he left out some stuff. Kick it back to 1974. Devil Times Five, an independently produced freakshow from distributor Jerry Gross's Cinemation Industries (I Drink Your Blood), left no such stone unturned. Hatchet murder? Nun impersonation? Lots of T&A? The nostalgia, it seeps.

Lake Arrowhead Village -- it's a beautiful spot in the winter. So beautiful, in fact, that a crotchety Mr. Papa Doc has decided to invite a couple of business partners (and their wives) to the resort for a little weekend R 'n' R. They accept. Papa Doc's girlfriend, Lovely, plays sexual mindgames with retarded handyman Ralph. Lovely also engages in a cat-fight with one of the wives. Lake Arrowhead; what a joint! Five strange children arrive at the house after surviving a freak bus accident, which unfolded under the opening credits. The kids include David, the sass talkin' brain (soon-to-be teen star Leif Garret), Sister Hannah, a fake nun who might be Wormser from Revenge Of The Nerds, a military freak, and two others who don't do much. Except help with the murders. Dear lord, the murders.

Beating out Bloody Birthday, The Children, and Children Of The Corn in the modern kiddie-killer race, Devil Times Five is a jumble of mixed signals. The odd series of disturbing events which propel the film butt heads with flubbed lines, deflated characters, and scenes that drag you down. Don't worry too much, though; none of that really matters. Moog nursery rhymes. Sexual frustration. Unlikeable characters. Cringe-inducing kill scenes. Adults as blithering idiots. Kids as true embodiments of unexplained evil. The combination of these distinctive elements, as well as the dependence on odd freeze frames and slow motion, builds something. Something heavy. It's mean-spirited, threatening, and confusing, yet completely enjoyable. Kinda like childhood. With a twelve year old transvestite, of course.

While we're on the subject, I never did like "bath time" when I was a tyke. Thanks to Lovely's merciless tub demise, I remember why.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
This is 1974. Right where you want to be. A fair amount of noise and scratching appeared. Colors were slightly washed, but consistent. There was a slight problem with the mono sound (dialogue = low, everything else = deafening). The presentation reminds me of Video Treasures's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre tape. Again, the nostalgia seeps.

EXTRAS
There was a tip about VCR Tracking before the movie started up. I've got mine set on automatic, so fuck that noise.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Shed no tears for the lil' stinkers. Devil Times Five packs several wallops and holds a constant state of eerie insanity. Find a copy and get those buttons pushed. You won't regret it.

P. Brown = P. Dead


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Just too dirty