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DEVIL RIDER (1989)
Directed by Victor Alexander
Magnum Home Video VHS
Reviewed 01.11.07 Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Life is a constant barrage of difficult
questions. Thanks to Devil Rider,
we now have the answer. It's a question.
Yes -- an answer that is a question.
Hold that thought.
For the first 18 minutes of Devil
Rider, 19th century cowboys
(jeans, Doc Martens, large wallet
lumps in back pockets) meet their
demise with the guns and sabre of
The Devil Rider. He's just a regular
guy in a white trenchcoat. His catch
phrase is "Heh heh heh."
During this time, a particularly
burly cowpoke answered a friend's
question with the following retort:
"Does shit go through a goose
like lightning?"
Now, I don't know about you, but
this is the first I've heard of
this potent metaphor. It struck
a chord. Since Devil Rider
morphs into Iced
set at a "dude ranch",
only with one fourth the laughs
of that coked-up classic, I had
time to think. Devil Rider walked
around a barn for the umpteenth
time, peeping on girls in showers
and/or shooting people. I asked,
"Is there life after death?"
An old man sharpened his target
skills while quick edits interspersed
some tame barn sex. I thought, "Is
Paris really the city of love?"
Finally, around the hour mark, after
an endless battery of horrid post-dubbing,
pointless padding, bloodless kill
scenes, and embarassing synth-flutes,
I wondered, "Would Devil
Rider be better if it was shot
on video?"
The means to answering all of these
questions, and several thousand
others, was, of course, plainly
obvious.
Somebody find me a goose.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
This tape, part of Magnum's last
ditch "M2" line, looks
brand new. Clean, clear, and shiny.
A couple of video burps trickled
throughout. The stereo sound shone
a spotlight on the vomitous soundtrack.
Bad move.
EXTRAS
"And Tag Groat As THE DEVIL
RIDER." Tag, baby, this is
your big break!
FINAL THOUGHTS
South
Of Hell Mountain this ain't.
Devil Rider is a western-horror
that shoots for the bare minimum
and achieves just that. Is this
the only straight-up cowboy slasher
in existence? Could Devil Rider
over-enunciate even more than he
already does? I think you know the
answers -- or is that -- the
questions? |


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