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DEADLY POSSESSION (1987)
Directed by Craig Lahiff
Vestron Video VHS
Reviewed 04.06.06
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Puzzles, puzzles, everywhere. What's
with the damn padlock key? Did every
bull dyke in the late 80s abuse
the middle hair part? Will those
deluxe Cosby sweaters reach out
and smother me? I'd love to find
out, but I feel a deadly possession
coming on. Help.
One part William Castle's Homicidal,
one part Halloween fire
sale, and two left feet; Deadly
Possession means well, but
the project manager called in sick.
A semi-classy slasher-thriller shot
in Australia and never released
theatrically, the bulk of the film
involves apartments, a few budding
lesbian romances, and an overbearing
orchestral score. That's great for
the drama, but not so hot for the
horror. Or the reputation. Correct
me if I'm wrong, but toy handcuffs
will never help to reinforce the
mystique of a motion picture. With
that, I've gotta draw the line.
On a college campus where both youngsters
and divorcees share territory, a
killer (Michael Myers with a sandy
wig) pushes a girl out of a window.
She later dies in a hospital, but
the filmmakers forget to show or
tell us. Soon after, a woman named
Kate gets on the trail when her
ex-husband is accused of the pushing.
She searches for a padlock key and
draws pictures of it in her notebook.
Padding drifts by (piano recitals,
walking around a house, sitting
in class) and sexual tension between
a few women flares. There's a shameless
crib of the glorious clothesline
scene from Halloween. Why
am I even watching this?
To be fair, Deadly Possession
isn’t a total wash. The final
fifteen minutes delivered in a flurry
of shadowy hallways and death by
xerox machine. Too bad the previous
ninety minutes built up a brick
wall of blandness. Really, nothing
much happened. There was nothing
to cut through the limp acting and
confused, anticlimactic twists,
so my options were slim: Wait it
out or turn it off. I laughed at
the sweaters for awhile, but as
we all know, novelty never lasts.
The possession had passed over.
I was thankful.
Way to blow it, Australia. If it’s
any consolation, you'll always have
Frenchman's
Farm.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Clean print, bad presentation. Pitch
black scenes and generous ghosting
knocked around with a soft, grainy
picture. No complaints on the mono
sound.
EXTRAS
My problems, nay, the world's problems,
are now over. Preceding everything
is an actual infomercial from a
woman named Jill Joyce, “famous
syndicated columnist and White House
astrologist”! She has a 900
number (1-900-22MYDAY) that I haven't
called yet. Yet. After that, a trailer
for Mesmerized with Jodie
Foster made me reach for the remote.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Deadly Possession isn't
a complete lump, but it comes close.
When you're pushing for something
on the level, that's the kiss of
death. Michael Myers’s lawyer
advises that you don’t even
bother. |
Dear Couple #1,
I'm feeling jealous of Couple #2...
...who seem nicer than Couple #3.
Signed, Mr. Flustered
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