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CUTTING CLASS (1989)
Directed by Rospo Pallenberg
Republic Pictures Home Video VHS
Reviewed 03.08.07
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Stop the presses! Brad Pitt plays
a large role in Cutting Class.
That's almost as sensational
as Vanna White appearing in Graduation
Day. I love Hollywood.
Cutting Class shares those
sentiments. Not satisfied with merely
exploring the bent-over tush of
Jill Schoelen (Popcorn),
this is a mainstream slasher that
strives to reach higher. It knows
all about John Hughes' Some
Kind Of Wonderful; the hooks,
the emotions, the sports cars. Likewise,
as with Teen Wolf, the
movie understands the mileage that
can be gained with some good basketball
padding. And hey, there's no harm
in denying the appeal of random
people getting killed in a school...as
long as it's not as gruesome as
one of those Freddy movies. Voila!
The cauldron swirls. Everything
is in place. Cutting Class
soon emerges in its birthday suit.
However, upon stepping out of the
mist, the film slips, knocks some
shit loose, and gets rushed to a
24 hour emergency clinic. The doctors
stitch, but promise nothing. The
film soldiers on.
Cutting Class, a well-paced,
well-clichd high school slasher,
looks to the stars for inspiration.
The fruits of such aspirations reveal
numbing comic relief from Martin
Mull (I guess he forgot about THE
JACK BUTLER METHOD from Mr.
Mom), a bass drum with "Tito's"
written on it, and lots of horny
old school teachers staring at Final
Girl Ms. Schoelen's back-door business.
Brad Pitt says, "NOBODY gets
my family ring!" and Jill says,
"We MUST stop him!" Also,
death by trampoline, xerox machine,
and kiln. Splendid. If, by the time
the anti-twist twist rolls around,
you are not smitten with this failed
lunge for slasher aristocracy, it's
time to unwind. As the greasy janitor
states, "Where there's art,
there's dirt!"
Yes, even in Hollywood.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Aside from some slight edge doubling,
Cutting Class looks great.
Bright, crisp, and sculpted with
a 90210 chisel. The mono sound shovels
tons of way-too-late generic new
wave, then later, tons of wanking
ass-metal, with muffled ease.
EXTRAS
Who is Tito and where is his band?
FINAL THOUGHTS
Hollywood does it again. Cutting
Class is an enjoyable mix of
sub-sub-Hughes teen angst and belated
slasher plagiarism. It'll never
mean anything more to anyone, but
I don't see a problem with that.
See it for cheap when you're in
the mood. |
Leaf lover
The Pitts
Bleach bum
I am hungry
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