SCREAM
THEATER VOL. 2:
TERROR AT TENKILLER (1986)
THE LAST SLUMBER PARTY (1987)
Directed by Ken Meyer/Stephen Tyler
VCI Entertainment DVD
Reviewed 06.30.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILMS
The back of the case reads “Features
a heavy metal rock soundtrack by
FIRSTRYKE.” You’re probably
thinking, “I’m sold,
what else is there?” You truly
have no idea.
When I interviewed United Pictures
producer Bill Blair a few months
ago, he revealed that The Last
Slumber Party was, in his opinion,
“the worst film ever made.”
After viewing said motion picture,
I realize that Mr. Blair may have
slipped up his words. I’m
pretty positive he meant to say
"BEST FILM EVER MADE. EVER."
After United scored huge hits in
the shot on video arena with Blood
Cult and follow up The
Ripper, the company decided
to tighten-up and ride out the 80s
with several straight to video features,
all shot on 16 mm film. Terror
At Tenkiller, a limp lakeside
slasher, and The Last Slumber
Party, a film which defies
categorization, were part of that
regional group. Thanks to VCI’s
“Scream Theater” series,
digital debuts have now welcomed
both on this double feature disc.
Hide your daughters.
It's summertime: school's out, dudes
have brews, and chicks say, "God,
I need a fucking valium." This
is The Last Slumber Party
and it's going down tonight! Chris,
Tracy, and Linda are three high
school juniors that decide to kick
off the summer break sweetness with
a sleepover at Linda's house. Like
most 80s trashers, our unique teen
leads are handled by women who have
clearly graduated high school 10
to 15 years prior to shooting. Before
all that though, we meet this guy
in a surgeon's outfit, complete
with killer scalpel and 'bout-to-pop
eyeballs. As the girls' boyfriends
arrive at the house, the Surgeon
begins to slash "teenage"
throats and take cover in his favorite
hiding spot: next to a bed. There
may or mat not be another guy joining
in on the killings. I can't tell.
There's a nudity-free shower scene
that lingers for no reason. Chris
walks around the house for a long
time. Whenever there's an open window,
shit-kicking hilarity ensues. Sounds
kind of straight forward, huh?
There's only one way to do this.
Dialogue: "Queerbag! Let's
munch out! Hoooomos! El Creepo!
Fucking damn whore! That's 'cause
you're on the rag! Why? Because
he's so fucking good looking, that's
why! Whoa, stereo telephones!"
Direction: a vomit of crude Super
8 footage, shaky 16 mm grain, and
edits that cut into chunks of dialogue
or leave behind blank sheets of
silent hiss. Acting: channeling
Jan Brady theatrics through Jerri
"Strangers With Candy"
Blank sass, meat-headed testosterone,
and triple shoulder shrugs, all
wrapped up with direct looks into
the camera. There's lots of blood,
no nudity, and posters of Sesame
Street and Tom Selleck. It all means
something...
The Last Slumber Party
is a landmark in American trash
filmmaking, a completely disconnected
72 minutes that I could have easily
watched for six hours. Magically
terrible cut-n-paste sound and photography;
outrageous dialogue; gaudy, ultra
scummy 80s house interiors; a soundtrack
comprised of FIRSTRYKE and white
noise synth blurps, usually overlapping
one another; multiple endings that
make zero sense....I have pages
of this stuff. Stephen Tyler must
have as well, because he's the one-shot
genius that wrote and directed this
beautiful/awful nightmare. Regardless
of the filmmakers' original intentions,
they've succeeded in crafting one
of the most surreal, hilarious,
and unbelievably perfect 80s trash
films of all time. If you think
you've seen it all with classics
like Killer
Workout and The
Devil Master, get ready
for a new champeen.
After sitting spellbound with Slumber
Party, I figured that Terror
At Tenkiller couldn't possibly
live up to the challenge. I was
right, but it was a darn good fight.
After a random prologue kill scene,
Lesley and Janna decide to spend
their summer college break at Lake
Tenkiller, where Janna grew up.
Girls just wanna have fun: Lesley
is trying to fade the memory of
abusive boyfriend Josh, while Janna
needs some love. The girls talk
a lot, float around on boats, waitress
at the local slop slinger, and humor
the other six cast members. All
the while, pockmarked handyman Tor
exercises his killer instinct: no
motives, no reasons. At the 19 minute
mark, Janna changes into a bikini,
but is replaced by another actress
with bigger boobs. There's a long
shot featuring a gigantic answering
machine. Whenever Tor plays his
harmonica, keyboard flutes overtake
the soundtrack (complementing the
awesome Commodore midi jamz!). Frequent
opportunities for obvious nudity
are avoided. Indian spirits? Whatever,
I just took a brief snooze.
Terror At Tenkiller is
a dirt cheap take on the wooded
lakeside slasher motif, plain and
simple. Only thing is, the film
is so incapably crafted that it
flutters into bad film hilarity
with ease, despite a D.O.A. second
half. Like most United productions
(including Slumber Party),
it was shot in Oklahoma by a director
(Ken Meyer) who hasn’t worked
since. Post-dubbed in a closet,
saturated with boring talk, and
light on kill scenes (save for a
vicious Rambo knife tussle) you’d
think this would be a tough one
to get through. That’s where
the lead actresses come in. Much
like Slumber Party, the girls in
Tenkiller light up the screen with
neon cluelessness; juicy over-acting,
mismatched fashions, and a welcomed
ability to carry the film at its
most ridiculous points. If nothing
else, Tenkiller proves that dollar-budget
80s slashers can still be fun, even
if you’re bored. Try telling
that to The
Mutilator.
Obviously, my brain is close to
exploding. You should be so lucky.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The presentation of both films,
clearly taken from VHS masters,
is truly awful. I love it. If either
of these two masterpieces were separated
from their disarray, half the charm
would be lost. Tenkiller's
source photography is a little slicker
than Slumber Party, resulting
in a better transfer, but both films
feature slight compression artifacts
and a couple of video blurps. There’s
a layer of hiss on both soundtracks,
but Tenkiller appears in
stereo (!), with supreme irrational
panning. It’s like you ran
down to your local video store in
‘88 and freshly rented these
two beauts. Excellent.
EXTRAS
Just a three minute preview reel
of other DVDs available under VCI’s
“Cinema Pops” umbrella.
Sex, violence, and weirdos, all
under one roof.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Stop reading this review, click
over to your favorite online DVD
source, and order this double feature
ASAP. It's the best $6-$10 you'll
ever spend. Chris, Tracy, Linda,
Lesley, Janna...please ladies, let's
go munch out. |
Oh, Chris
Gee-zus!
Now that's a party
Blinded by science
Depression headquarters
Tenkiller tans
|
