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THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE
(1982)
Directed by Amy Holden Jones
New Concorde DVD
Reviewed 04.12.07
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
There was this interesting clique
of girls at my high school. They
smoked pot, but weren't stoners.
They dressed conservatively, but
fooled around. Most strikingly,
they could beat anyone at pickle-ball
in Gym, but always played dumb in
English. To my adolescent mind,
these girls were intimidating, alluring,
and thoroughly untouchable.
Then, one day, their leader destroyed
me in pickle-ball. As the bell rang
to hit the showers, she looked at
me, smiled, and said, "Hey,
little dude -- good game!"
From then on, I always felt that
those girls were alright. And even
more attractive.
As the girls in The Slumber
Party Massacre frequently state,
"You can't bring back the old
days." They're right. Who would
even want to? However, the occasional
slip into dreamy recollection never
hurts. The Slumber Party Massacre
is a semi-sleazy, barebones slasher
which features a group of girls
who act just like the ones from
my high school. Thus, for 75 brief
minutes, I was adrift. I floated
past the ridiculous denim-clad killer
(somebody missed Final
Exam), the glazed-over
midrift, and the laughable women's
lib analogies. I chuckled at the
over-the-top breast 'n' butt leering.
I admired the plotless, second-hand
audacity. Most of all, I just thought
a lot.
Films such as Nightmares
In A Damaged Brain and
Blood Rage create unique,
sentient spaces for outsider-slasher
enthusiasts to pull up a seat, spread
out, and soak in. These films touch
on certain points -- a way of decorating,
a particular product, a style of
speech -- which strike a nerve with
people who appreciate them, regardless
of the overall context. The
Slumber Party Massacre, for
all its stupidity and shortcomings,
captures that feeling. The film
aspires for slimy class, while shunning
general weirdness. The photography
is surprisingly creative. There's
a lot of violence, a Kool-Aid scene,
Collecovision synths, the phrase
"Maui Wowee!", intentional
humor, and a needless sub-plot involving
a babysitter. Yet, this is no retardo
symphony ala The
Last Slumber Party. The
Slumber Party Massacre is what
it is; a direct, unexceptional 1982
slasher with the ability to invoke
pleasant thoughts of the "old
days" in those who wish to
have them invoked. That doesn't
sound like much, but really, it
is.
Feminist intent allegedly ran high
when writer Rita Mae Brown and director
Amy Holden Jones conceived this
film. Somehow, the site of a Final
Girl chopping off the tip of a male
killer's power drill seems misplaced
amidst lots of huge boobs flopping
around. Of course, they could've
planned it that way.
I wonder if Rita and Amy were any
good at pickle-ball?
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Long out of print, this DVD's non-anamorphic,
widescreen print is of the perfect
vintage. There's dirt, some grain,
a bold color palette, and no compression
artifacting to speak of. The stereo
sound holds no surprises. 1982 all
the way. You'll be happy.
EXTRAS
First, under "Available Hits",
we have R-rated theatrical trailers
for The Slumber Party Massacre,
The Slumber Party Massacre II,
and Sorority House Massacre
II. They are definitely Available
Hits. Next, under "Biographies",
text bios for Roger Corman (he produced),
Pamela Roylance (she acted), Brinke
Stevens (she acted), Gina Mari (she
acted), and David Millbern (he acted)
are also available. Not really hits.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Take back the old days. Knowing-me-knowing-you,
The Slumber Party Massacre
is for those who hold an unconditional
love for the straightforward, vintage
slasher. Concise, exploitive, and
awash in attractive familiarity,
this is the go-to film on nights
when that ol' feeling swells. Don't
ever fight it. |
Girls nite in
OH YEAH!
An Egyptian feast?
Fridge fritz
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