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SATAN'S BABY DOLL (1982)
aka LA BIMBA DI SATANA
Directed by Mario Bianchi
Severin Films DVD
Reviewed 03.27.08
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Love conquers all. This includes
nun-masturbation, but not killer
parties. Just FYI.
Somewhere in Italy, there was an
abandoned castle. As any articulate
trash filmmaker knows, an optimum
location cannot sit uncultivated.
Hence, longtime exploitive/porno
director Mario Bianchi set out to
cultivate this vociferous chateau
in the form of Satan's Baby
Doll, his first foray into
horror. Only, there was no script.
And money was scarce. Solution?
Party all the time. Just like that
Eddie Murphy song. Except naked.
Satan's Baby Doll adheres
to nothing, save for a commitment
to polished sleaze. The loose plot,
in which a dead woman possesses
the body of her daughter to kill
people and profess unconditional
love for a nun, might as well be
imaginary. For, within the walls
of Bianchi's Castle, that commitment
was made to be kept. Satan's
Baby Doll therefore reveals
its greatest strengths: Naked women
touching themselves (and each other),
ethereal locations, and a striking
soundtrack which sounds like Argent
twinkling the Moogs while The
Strange Vice Of Mrs. Wardh
unspools in the background. Of course,
we also have mummies, a bit of blood,
wheelchair insults ("You dirty
parapalegic!"), surprising
full frontal nudity, heroin-eating,
and a helluva lot of talk. But is
it enough to captivate you for 75
minutes? Um.
With all the zooms, echoplex effects,
and off-the-cuff class, Satan's
Baby Doll feels like a five
minute collaboration between Jess
Franco and José Mojica Marins
on their most plaintive of days.
Yes, the party is on. The women
are sexy. The castle is fresh.
But really, what good is a party
if nobody shows up?
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The hi-fi is in working order. Presented
in 1.66:1 anamorphic widescreen,
Satan's Baby Doll couldn't
look better. The print is in great
shape, the grain is thick 'n' sweet,
and colors are huge. The Italian-dubbed
mono soundtrack was a little tinny,
but I don't pay much attention to
things like that. Also, no typos
were found amongst the optional
English subtitles.
EXTRAS
Director Mario Bianchi talks for
eighteen minutes and a theatrical
trailer plays for two and a half
minutes. Cools.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Where's the love? Satan's Baby
Doll is a flimsy sex-horror
film that offers stimulation for
the eyes, but none for the heart.
It's pretty empty. Yet, I had no
problem watching it. I also had
no problem checking my watch every
ten minutes. Your choice. |
Fun-loving nun
Looking good, feeling good
Oh, Mumma
We have always lived in the castle
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