MUMMY
A.D. 1993 (1993)
MAN FROM PLAN 9 (????)
ROCK AND A HARD PLACE (2002)
Directed by David “The Rock”
Nelson
Retromedia DVD
Reviewed 01.03.04
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Attention: This is a first here
at Bleeding Skull. After viewing
the extras on Retromedia’s
DVD of Edward D. Wood Jr.’s
The Bride And The Beast,
I decided to give them their own
review. So astoundingly insane were
the three shorts appearing on the
disc (filmed by David “The
Rock” Nelson), that I couldn’t
help myself. Read on...
David “The Rock” Nelson
saves the day. Mr. Nelson is a middle-aged
grown man with a thick Chicago accent.
He has dubbed himself the “Ed
Wood of the 21st Century.”
Nelson makes “films”
with a 90s camcorder and an editing
suite composed of two VCRs and Atari
2600 editing effects. Three of his
features are included here. Needless
to say, these homemade monstrosities
have left me speechless. Imagine,
if you will, a very low budget second
cousin to American Movie's
Mark Borchardt, only shot on video
and completely nuts.
I can’t tell what the deal
is with this guy. Whether he’s
ranting into the camera and interviewing
himself (“Rock And A Hard
Place”), playing quadruple
roles opposite his tripod (“Mummy
A.D. 1993”), or filming 70
year old men with Harry Carey glasses
talking about space ships (“Man
From Plan 9”), Nelson’s
productions are completely jaw dropping.
Hilarious. Creepy. Inept. Fantastic.
I could go on and on. My stomach
hurt from laughing so much while
watching. And that doesn’t
make me feel bad...I’m pretty
sure this guy is in on the joke.
Sample the following for a taste...Thrill
to Detective Rock answering the
gigantic 80s telephone many, many
times! Witness vcr rainbow dubbing
lines after almost every cut! Get
completely freaked out by the site
of Andrew "Chief" Morwitz
emerging from his trailer home!
Get baffled by “The Rock”
discussing at what time he needs
to watch Seinfeld!
Truly bizarre.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Horrible compression and pixelation.
When a lot of movement is taking
place on screen, the shorts tend
to look like streaming internet
video. Usually this isn’t
a big deal to me, but it was definitely
noticeable and distracting here.
EXTRAS
Well, these are actually extras
themselves, so read the whole disc
review here
for the big picture.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Somebody (Retromedia?) please release
a DVD filled to the brim with David
“The Rock” Nelson shorts!
Total goldmine. |
Pasty face
Andrew "Chief" Morwitz
"I'll be a son of a gun."
Rocky Nelson
|
