OFFERINGS (1989)
Directed by Christopher Reynolds
Madacy DVD
Reviewed 10.19.06
Review by Dan Budnik

THE FILM
Small-town movie reviewer and hat-wearing iconoclast Cyril P. Drathmoor put it best, "I love Halloween. But, I don't always have the time or patience to sit down and watch it. That's why I love Offerings. It's Halloween but without all those pesky scares.” Never have truer words been written.

A mute boy, John Radley, with a repulsive mother is taunted mercilessly (low budget-style) by the local children. One child, Sweet Gretchen, is kind to him but it is not enough. One afternoon, John takes up the taunts of the nasty kids and decides to "walk the well”. This involves walking around the edge of the town's local well and not falling in. But, one of the kids scares John during the walk and he drops into the well. The blow he takes to the head makes him into a killer with cannibalistic tendencies. Young John is placed into an asylum for the remainder of his life. Ten years later, he escapes. He's coming back to town. And, he's killing all the mean kids…leaving bits of their bodies for Gretchen as Offerings.

Folks love that movie Halloween. It's a scary thrill ride. There were tons of rip-offs and such. Some of them did very well. Ten Years Later (does that mean something?), Director Chris Reynolds and friends are sitting around with an extra-cheese pizza from Pontillo's (remember how much cheese they used to put on those things?) when they decide to make their own version. Chris tweaks the story here and there but it's basically a remake. Acquiring the equipment is no problem because the woman who played Linda knows the man who runs the camera Supply Hut downtown.* Everyone is assembled to make a movie!

Mr. Reynolds insisted that every member of cast and crew watch Halloween once a week for absorption purposes while shooting was on. They shot the whole thing over a three-week period so folks did a lot of absorbing except the one time when Leigh Bowman (Gretchen) brought The Day After Halloween by accident. Apart from that, everything went smoothly. They re-did scenes in "Reynolds Vision!” To vary it a bit, they threw in some local color and a few gags. Buddy the goofy Deputy was actually the Town Controller. (Here's a fact: He had never acted before!) The man who played the overweight Sheriff brought in his "Ben Dover” routine from the local nightclub where he had three shows daily (six on Sunday). And, a local chef provided body parts for the offerings and spicy human sausage for the big pizza scene. After 20 days of shooting, the film had a "Reynolds Wrap!” and editing began. Three months later, Offerings premiered at the high school. They had done their town proud. VHS would send it to the masses.

Offerings has it all. Well, all that Halloween had and more. Prologue and "Ten Years Later” -- check. Slow, deliberate electronic score --check. A visit to the killer's old house now in shambles -- check. Gretchen answering a question in class that no one else will answer -- check. The psycho traveling a great distance to get home -- check. As you might imagine, I could do this for some time.

The tweaks? John Radley eats his mother. Sex is a minor element. The Midwestern kids all speak like L.A. Valley kids. (The L.A. kids in Halloween were supposed to be Midwestern. The more you think on it, the odder it becomes.) The offerings are a macabre touch. And, let's not forget the other bits of local color, such as the man with the very large mustache in the classroom scene. (Davis Wanamaker, Ordnance Maintenance Man for the local militia) But, really, it is "Halloween without all those pesky scares.”

I can see that the film is rather amateurish. I can see that the entire cast should be included under the opening "introducing” credit. Some scenes that feel like they should be tense flounder on (the scene with the kid in the vise or whenever the Sheriff shows up). Some things they try, fail. (The slow-mo in the final scene works for a moment. Then, it becomes very silly.) But, goodness gracious, I just can't dislike this film. I watch it with a smile on my face. It's charming, even the human sausage pizza scene ("It doesn't taste like sausage but it's good.”) It's not calculated like Blood Cult. It's not from a parallel universe like The Last Slumber Party. It's about as charming as a slasher film can be.

There's a mighty strong chance that this may not be what you're looking for in a slasher film. But, if you've seen enough of them, you know they are a weird bunch of fellows. All the "rules” I've seen assembled, all the lists of titles that have been complied, are insufficient for all the things slasher films are. They can be anything their sloppy hearts can dream up. If you look at it like that (as I do), Offerings is a fun slasher film. Not for your Grandma, but your Aunt Rose might get a kick out of it. (She was a crazy old broad anyways.)

AUDIO AND VIDEO
My VHS looks and sounds fine. The Madacy DVD kind of stinks. Everything looks a little too bright and the sound is really tinny, just like the Invitation To Hell DVD. I bought my VHS for $1.98 at Amoeba on Sunset Blvd in Los Angeles. It has paid back that cost a thousand times.

EXTRAS
Does the fact that I watched Halloween immediately afterwards count as an extra?

FINAL THOUGHTS
Offerings is no world-beater. But, it is a good time. I watch it more than I watch Halloween. But, I once incurred a head injury from a fall down a well, so I know less than I think.

*Some of this may be untrue.

Ma, she's on the phone


J. Chism = Ben Dover Expert


Fake sausage


Please don't eat my mother