MONSTER A-GO-GO (1965)
PSYCHED BY THE 4-D WITCH (1972)
Directed by Bill Rebane/Herschell
Gordon Lewis/Victor Luminera
Something Weird DVD
THE FILMS
A mark of inner balance is knowing
when to say "I'm sorry."
This admittance may sting. Of course,
really gross sex can always help
to ease the pain.
For the last few years, I've beared
the weight of guilt on my shoulders.
When first viewing Monster A-Go-Go,
a deadened cosmic fever from parts
very unknown, and Psyched By
The 4-D Witch, a skillful lesson
in how sex isn't always the best
policy, my body was racked with
fury. How dare you, Monster
A-Go-Go, for forcing me into
a dead sleep nearly seven times
in 68 minutes? And how dare you,
Psyched By The 4-D Witch,
for causing me to recoil in horror
at the sight of a bulbous, curiously-shaped
nipple. I was worked up. Spewing
insults. My time could've been better
spent watching The
Weird World Of LSD again.
Or so I thought.
It's time to fess up. Three years
on and I've watched Monster
A-Go-Go, in its entirety, four
times. The 4-D Witch has stood in
the wings, offering her unappetizing
sex as a convenient chaser. After
years of nagging and tugging, the
three of us have reached an intimate
pinnacle, as well as an interesting
conclusion. Trash films don't devolve.
People do. Since both films were
probably sourced at random from
an anonymous, perverted Mad Libs
collection, this point rings true.
De-evolution is waiting.
"You've never seen a picture
like this -- thank goodness!"
When H.G. Lewis fortified Bill Rebane's
(Blood
Harvest) unfinished Terror
At Halfday with that tagline
(and a few extra scenes), his intelligence
was proven once again. Monster
A-Go-Go was born. Frank went
to space. His tiny spaceship crashed.
Now, oatmeal-face Frank stomps around
the barren landscapes of Wisconsin
and downtown Chicago, interrupting
sunbathers, turning blood to powder,
and causing scientists to ponder
our universe. Monster A-Go-Go
turns boredom into an artform. Men
with big foreheads talk to women
with cigarettes. A couple makes
it to second base. A car breaks
down. These are the things which
will put you to sleep. Yet, there's
a distinct gratification in this
experience. The stretches of silence,
grainy midnight investigations,
spooky bursts of electric organ,
determined narrator, Boggy Creek-lite
ending; inebriated charm is always
present. You just have to sniff
it out.
Zits. A killer wig. Home movie footage
of a junior college campus, the
beach, and "Chinatown."
The phrase "fantasy fuck."
Lots of colored lightbulbs. Yes,
this is Psyched By The 4-D Witch.
Yes, it is very unsexy. Cindy, who
can't seem to reach a proper climax,
is repeatedly visited by her "sexual
witchcraft" ancestor, Abigail.
Abigail helps Cindy seek sexual
harmony through sexual fantasies;
masturbation, a "homo,"
a rubber snake, her Aunt Fannie,
and a dead body. Towards the end,
Cindy rakes leaves as her brother
runs around with plastic fangs.
The screen appears nearly pitch
black during most of this sequence.
I don't know who director Victor
Luminera is, but one thing's for
sure: this guy was ON FIRE. Told
entirely through hilariously poor
narration, Psyched leans
more towards a weekend goof-off
than an intentionally bizarre classic.
It's basically a crude jumble of
overlapped Super 8 footage, spiked
endlessly with basement psychedelic
effects and a goofy censoring of
dirty words. There's quite a bit
of nudity and suggestive sex, but
you won't want to see any of it.
20 minutes of fascinating clumsiness,
60 minutes of hippy-doubting humanity;
a winning combination!
The narrator in Monster A-Go-Go
states, "Fate and history never
deal in 'IFs'!" How true. From
the lower depths of Chicago's Wabash
Avenue to the campus of an anonymous
California junior college, I owe
Misters Rebane, Lewis, and Luminera
(whoever he is) a stout apology.
They've created two films that are
clearly horrible, yet oddly special.
I have a feeling they'll accept.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
As long as we're talkin' dirty,
the carpet matches the drapes. Monster
A-Go-Go mixes thick blacks
and whites with the slight damage
and a muffled mono soundtrack that
loves slapback delay. Psyched
By The 4-D Witch is a holy
mess that only helps its cause.
Appearing to be projected onto a
wall, then photographed by another
camera, it puts the unkempt The
Mummy And The Curse Of The Jackal
to shame. Both films are surprisingly
clear and expectedly, filled with
skewed visual charm.
EXTRAS
The disconnection continues. As
usual, Something Weird's jovial
extras enhance the features and
stick to the program. "Bedtime
Booga Booga" (5 minutes) is
a terrific, anonymous Super 8 short,
which you can read all about in
Instamatic
Monster Attic! The Enchanted World
Of Weirdo Super 8 Films on DVD.
"Driving Miss Daisy Crazy"
(36 minutes) plays out like a junky,
softcore E.C. comic book, in which
a Woody Allen clone torments his
rich wife with sex games and rubber
monster masks. "Psyched By
The 2-D Dot" (2 minutes) follows
a film-scratched blob as it wreaks
havoc on the body of naked woman.
Also included are eleven trailers,
including spots for Eyes Of
Hell aka The
Mask and the humorously
marketed Monster A-Go-Go,
a recycled (I still watched it again)
poster gallery with radio spot rarities,
and an easter egg TV spot for Bill
Rebane's The Giant Spider Invasion.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I've been psyched. Finally. Monster
A-Go-Go and Psyched By
The 4-D Witch cannot be recommended
to anyone under any circumstances.
Yet somehow, like many films in
Andy
Milligan's arsenal, this odd
combination leads to curious bliss
over time. Lots of time. Do as you
must.
— Joseph A. Ziemba, 01.18.07 |
Forehead pride
Space crab
A-go-no!
Four dimensions of Cindy
The last trick
Tough fangs
|
