HOUSEBOAT HORROR (1989)
Directed by Kendal Flanagan & Ollie Martin
Televista DVD
Reviewed 12.06.07
Review by Dan Budnik

THE FILM
The slasher film as comfort food?*

I watched Houseboat Horror over the long (and lovely) Thanksgiving Day weekend. I had a great time. Everything you need from a slasher film is in here. And, none of it is too crazy or too far out to worry you. It's like a big stack of garlic mashed potatoes. It's really nice.

It's also really Australian. I don't know if I've seen an Australian 80s slasher before but now I have. It's shot on video and it's all professionally done, more on the Blood Cult side of things than the Cannibal Campout side. (This is good or bad, depending upon preference.) It's all set in the woods and on the edges of secluded lakes so I couldn't really tell you if I was seeing all of the majesty of Australia or not. But, it sure is nice.

A band who plays at "The Underground Disco" (whose name I kept missing) is shooting a video for one of their songs ("She's all right with me./ She's all right with me./ She's young and groovy and/ She's all right with me."). They look exactly like what you'd imagine a synth-pop band who thinks they're playing rock from 1989 look like. They have brought their manager, a few rock video girls, a hard-working/partying crew and one guy who is really annoying. Scratch that. Make it two guys.

They travel down a deserted lake on several larger houseboats. They party and yell and hear vague thing about "film people" who were here a few years ago. Something about a fire. Then, they start to die. And, the fact that I couldn't remember anyone's names became an advantage rather than a liability.

The movie has a whole bunch of people in it. And, I know one guy was named Bernie because I thought a woman was calling him "Honey" over and over again but it turned out that I was wrong. I think the best way to enjoy the film is to let the folks flow by you. Who are they? Wasn't this guy actually this guy? Is that the nude woman from before? None of it matters. The film is a slasher is a slasher and so forth.

Possibly, the "slasher film as comfort food" is not the best way to prepare your horror film. I enjoyed it, but it didn't really stick with me. It's not the most memorable film. I remember the big houseboats more than anything. I remember thinking "I wonder who owns the houseboats." In my mind, I see it as being similar to Blood Lake but without all the constant chatter around the kitchen table and without that creepy kid who wanted to get laid.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
The DVD looks and sounds pretty darn good. It's a film that I'd only vaguely heard about so when I saw that it looked nice I was glad. The closing credits song will rock you up and down the street. (Or "Give you a real nut knockin'", as my Gramma says.) It is, also, the most 80s sounding song you will ever hear.

EXTRAS
A slide show/still gallery. I scanned through it once. The movie is the draw here.

FINAL THOUGHTS
If you want a slasher that will scare you, pass this one by. If you want one that will leave you feeling depressed, it's not this one. If you want a classic, Houseboat Horror isn't it. But, some days you just want to be in the company of folks you can sit quietly with and just relax. Houseboat Horror is the slasher equivalent of Thanksgiving. You know exactly what you're going to get (turkey, stuffing, gravy and pumpkin pie) and that's just fine. In my house, Christmas is when you make the exciting stuff that has the potential to go terribly wrong or brilliantly right.

*An asterisk, already?

I'd like to start this review by saying, first, "Hello. How have you been? It's nice to be back." Then, I'd like to follow that with a brief paragraph entitled "Holiday Meals with my Wife and her Husband (me)".

On Christmas, my wife and I make baked ziti and cheese potato soup. We get huge plates of exotic cheeses and all kinds of seafood. We try new and exciting drinks and have a great time that ends in cakes and pies. On Thanksgiving, we eat the same thing every year. Turkey (or Tofurkey), mashed potatoes, stuffing, and so forth. No surprises, no thrills. Just a good meal made up of 100% comfort food. And, we love each of these days. Each of them has their place.

Now, enjoy the review.

Get this man a drum set


How To Rock, V.1


How To Rock, V.2


Neckin'