FOREVER
EVIL (1987)
Directed by Roger Evans
VCI Entertainment DVD
Reviewed 03.02.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
What happens when you nix two bookends
of first-rate trash with an eternity’s
worth of listless dialogue? Mr.
Maxwell Smart, I’m in need
of your catch phrase.
Shot for direct-to-video pennies
in and around Houston, Forever
Evil feels like a troupe
of dorky horror fans decided to
raise the roof and catch the non-epic
results on 16 millimeter film. At
least at first. Nipping at Fred
Olen Ray’s heels and throttling
a few plot ticks from The
Evil Dead, the film initially
assaults with a gore-soaked, ridiculously
bad 30 minute bliss. Bravo! So what
happened to the next hour and a
half? We’ve got two whole
discs to find out.
Mark (Red Mitchell, the a-hole bully
from The
Outing) holds a party
for the biggest bunch of wise-crackin’
80s dorks you’re likely to
find. Over the course of a few minutes,
this houseful of fashion victims
is massacred by a zombie-spirit
with red LED eyes. Mark’s
pregnant fiancee is torn up in the
shower (gross!) and everybody gets
some carnage, dolled out most impressively
by a tiny tree branch and our cheap
Colonel Sanders-esque zombie. Mark
gets away and winds up in a hospital
bed. Get ready to snooze. For the
next hour, the film skips along
to the dormant haze of listless
paperback nonsense, tough cop romantics,
and a thoroughly confusing series
of events. Ancient gods? Quasar?
Yog Kothag? A pulled out baby fetus?!
Just when things get nearly excruciating,
Mark takes his Jack Black via The
Incredible Hulk mug on the road
with girlfriend Reggie; they return
to the house, clad in army fatigues
and catch phrases (“Oh shit!”)
to send Monsieur Kothag back to
hell. Getting the most out of every
dollar, the filmmakers decided to
shoot the fiery climax in and around
a cheap motel room. Now that
I love.
You’re intuitions are correct:
Forever Evil does
indeed run an unbelievable two hours
in its director’s cut form.
Shaving off 40 minutes or so would
have cut through the muck (incidentally,
the "home video premiere"
version on disc two clips out ten
minutes). When you’ve got
a tried and true, no-brains-needed
story line, it’s probably
a good idea to stick to what’s
working; in this case it’s
chincy monsters and decent gore
effects. Trying to embellish the
runtime with non-capable actors
interpreting dozens of plot diversions
turns a molehill into a mountain.
The film offers up a couple of interesting
visuals during its stretch of dullness
(writer Freeman Williams as a hammy
psychic in bad old man make-up,
the rubber monster baby), but it’s
not enough to hold your interest
amongst the flat-as-a-pancake direction
and keyboard cheese soundtrack,
which is stuck on repeat. Good bedfellows,
they’re not.
Somebody grab a pair of scissors
and the negative. They almost had
it...
AUDIO AND VIDEO
If only every obscure 80s Le Stinker
could be treated with such excess.
The restored "director's cut"
on disc one looks fantastic, almost
TOO good. The full frame print wears
its grainy origins on its sleeve,
but the print was crisp and clear.
Film damage was zilch and a slight
bit of ghosting was present during
darker scenes. The hissy stereo
audio track (or 5.1, whatever’s
your style) sounds a bit too tweaked,
as the post-dubbing really jumps
to the forefront. Over on disc two,
we've got the "home video premiere,"
which appears to be struck from
the original United Home Video master.
This version of the film also appears
full frame, just slightly softer,
more worn, and with a mono soundtrack.
The film itself offers up a different
prologue (which appears later in
the director’s cut), alternate
music, and slightly different cuts
of a couple of scenes. VHS junkies:
this compare/contrast novelty is
quite nice.
EXTRAS
I was hoping for a smoother ride
on the extras side of things, but
alas...There’s an original
video trailer for the film, which
presents a murkier print with heavy
film noise in parts. I loved the
extra grit (that zombie attack looks
almost Super 8-ish), but the catch
phrases are expectedly dumb. There’s
also a three minute gallery of behind
the scenes photos, still shots,
and original video advertising art.
Onto the commentary. Director Roger
Evans and writer/actor Freeman Williams
offer up a track that sometimes
surpasses the film in terms of enjoyment,
but often feels like a missed opportunity.
These guys are justly sentimental,
but have no pretensions regarding
the film’s less-than-stellar
qualities. The result is a laid
back listen, filled with tons of
information, a slight reliance on
discussing on-screen happenings,
and grating inside jokes. Given
the juicy back story regarding the
film’s long development (chronicled
on Freeman’s website),
I was disappointed that our hosts
didn’t spend more time discussing
the ups and downs of their 80s plights
(distribution details, budget concerns,
etc.). Filled with trivia morsels,
but a little light on digging deep;
at two hours, that lack of depth
makes separate sittings a must.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Here’s the deal: Forever
Evil fell short on its own,
but the entire package might make
up for that, depending on your tastes.
Anyone that salivates over the mysteries
behind z-rate clunkers will be intrigued.
If that sounds like your bag, dig
in with a rental. If not, you won’t
be missing much. |
Puny human
Red eyes don't mess
Motel 6 disaster
Y(awn)og
|
