COLLEGE
GIRL MURDERS (1967)
Directed By Alfred Vohrer
Dark Sky Films DVD
Reviewed 08.25.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
When I went to college, there wasn't
an all girl dormitory, let alone
an all girl school. I never met
a mod femme named Ann Portland.
None of my professors slept with
my friends (I hope). And there sure
as hell wasn't a sinister
monk brandishing a bullwhip. Where
did I go wrong?
Krimi! With this stopgap genre of
German films (halfway between 50s
crime thriller and 70s stalk 'n'
slash), you can usually expect confusion,
dozens of random characters, extended
lengths, and the name of author
Edgar Wallace. College Girl
Murders has all of these things.
Thankfully, that's not all it has.
Improving upon the standards set
by the winning The
Strangler Of Blackmoor Castle,
but displaying little of the drudgery
conjured up by The
Phantom Of Soho, College
Girl Murders explodes with
pop art colors and simmers with
just the right amount of fast paced
sleaze. It's a semi-sequel to The
Sinister Monk and features
several deaths by Bible. Death by
a Bible? The Sinister Monk?! Sock
it to me.
A mad doctor with crazy hair perfects
a new poison, testing it out on
a vatful of rats and his timid assistant.
He travels to a misty graveyard,
sells the junk to a mysterious party,
and gets a bullwhip-neck crack,
courtesy the red garbed Monk. A
convict is freed from his prison
cell, hired to gas select students
of an all girls' college via Bible
booby trap and atomic spraygun.
At the same time, the Monk stalks
around campus, utilizing a secret
fireplace passage and hidden peepholes.
Two cops take the case (a bumbling
fuddy duddy and a gum-chomping Hef
wannabe), more murders ensue, and
the red herrings pile up. Why are
the killings taking place? Is our
mastermind the jaded gardener? The
horny chemistry teacher? The ancient
head mistress? Mr. Slugworth from
Willy Wonka And The Chocolate
Factory? And what's the secret
of Ann Portland, brunette ginch
extraordinaire? It's all quite involved
and sometimes confusing, but you'll
be having too much fun to notice.
Finally, an unknown film that delivers.
With high production values and
go-go instrumental stompers, College
Girl Murders, presents itself
as A-Class horror-action-mystery
trash all the way. Although the
proceedings never get explicit,
there's a slightly rebellious underbelly;
not unlike a college girl herself.
The deadly bibles (Catholic school,
Mr. Wallace?), the forbidden "parties"
at the headmistress's son's apartment,
the violent, yet tame deaths...even
the Monk's fog drenched scenes come
across as a little spooky. Despite
the highly exploitive title, the
film is surprisingly peppy, even
throwing in some playful cop banter
that actually works to break up
the intensity. Except for the secretary
ass-slapping, of course. And unlike
most Krimi productions, College
Girl Murders moves like quicksilver,
never giving you much chance to
worry about anything. Was the ending
a little cheesy? Yep. Ask me if
I care.
When the ridiculous superimposed
plant drawings appeared over giant
snakes and alligators at the film's
climax, I knew it was a good night.
Now that's what I call a syllabus.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Quite nice. Although there's a fair
amount of scratching, the full frame
print is crisp as day and filled
with bulbous colors. It's everything
a '67 print should be, with just
the right amount of character; no
distracting damage and no compression
artifacting. On par with the nicest
of Something Weird's H.G. Lewis
presentations, if you need some
context. The mono sound had some
hiss on it, but I had no problem
with the clarity.
EXTRAS
There's a photo gallery, featuring
a handful of promo stills and a
couple of original posters, as well
as optional English subtitles (the
film itself is dubbed in English).
FINAL THOUGHTS
College Girl Murders gets
most everything right. It's one
of the most balanced and well paced
Krimis I've ever seen, dripping
mid-60s culture without missing
a beat. The disc's presentation
gives you just what you need, so
if you're on the fence -- jump.
If you're not a Krimi follower,
at least give it a rent. |
Bible bizness
Ho ha, not me!
The Monk
Ann's disaster
|
