ALIEN
OUTLAW (1985)
Directed by Phil Smoot
VCI Entertainment DVD
Reviewed 03.21.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
When you’re partying in the
woods, hoping to snag some bitchin’
babes while wearing your underwear
and cowboy boots, DO NOT fiddle
with the six-shooter-a-blazin’
Alien Outlaws. Too late! Ah well,
I guess I’ll just have to
call in Lash LaRue to bail you out
again.
Fresh off the set of The
Dark Power, Phil Smoot
re-teams with 40s b-western star
Lash LaRue to deliver an indelible
glob of bad sci-fi-western extravagance.
Even shorn of Lash’s trademarked
whip antics, Alien Outlaw
manages to balance the miracle of
zero plot (thank god) with super
human, piss-your-pants hilarity.
Over and over. Our cast of nobodies
beckons you...get ready for a mean
case of saddle rash while Gumby
music rules the soundtrack.
A trio of dry-humping Alien Outlaws
crash land on earth, in a sea of
white flashes and, ahem, limited
animation. They begin to knock off
humans, attack women, and destroy
cars. There's no reason why. At
the same time, traveling show woman/gunsmith
Jesse Jamison (Kari Anderson, who
never had another credit) spends
her time looking for a new booking
agent and riding horses. And making
sure her eyeballs nearly pop out
of her head at any inkling of dramatics.
It's up to Jesse and pals (Lash
LaRue and some college twit with
white short-shorts) to blow up the
aliens and walk off into the sunset.
It’s all supposed to be a
rip on The Most Dangerous Game,
aliens vs. humans style, but they
can’t be serious. Wait...can
they?!
If this sounds completely avoidable,
you're in for a surprise. Alien
Outlaw is a tight example of
low-budget ridiculousness done right.
Nothing more, nothing less. Frequently
head-slapping and always unintentionally
hilarious, Smoot caulks the cracks
with loads of odd quirks. How many
colorful slobs can they possibly
fit into this picture? The hillbilly
fishing trip ("Listen buttface,
suck worms!"), the bickering
couple ("You just kiss my butt,
Robert!"), the gigolo tour
manager...the list goes on. Though
there's literally no bloodshed,
the camera accepts many opportunities
to linger on J.J.'s lower body and
a couple of random boob shots. Completely
unnecessary, but the excess made
me crack up yet again, so who's
complaining? Boredom never reared
its ugly head and the presence of
a mid-80s female hero was a welcome
one. Throw in some geriatric cowboy
cameos, a lot of inhumanly bad acting,
fat guy comedy relief, and Lash's
frequent denture chompage; you really
can’t go wrong.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Making its North American home video
debut, Alien Outlaw looks
perfect-o. Going tit-for-tat with
VCI’s excellent work on The
Dark Power, the anamorphic
widescreen print really brings out
the goodness in 16mm filmmaking.
The colors are rich, the stock is
grainy, and the print is flawless.
The mono audio track follows suit.
An open matte version of the film
is also included, appearing to be
culled from the exact same source.
EXTRAS
Back for round two after The
Dark Power, Phil Smoot and
editor Sherwood Jones sit down for
another engaging commentary track.
Unlike their previous talk, the
guys keep things active for the
entire runtime, offering up a more
practiced and focused talk overall.
We get more of an insight into the
processes behind such a low-budget
film, which is the kind of stuff
people like to hear. I found the
semi-serious explanation behind
the film’s storyline a little
humorous, given the final product.
Not to mention the fact that Smoot
had nearly 200 girls try out for
the part of Jesse Jamison.
Welcome to “Sunset Carson’s
Hollywood Nostalgia Theater.”
Aging western star Sunset Carson
hosts a couple of on-set video interviews
with Lash (10 minutes; good ol’
days rambling, patriotic poetry
reading) and Kari (3 minutes; boring).
Apparently, these segments were
featured on Sunset’s public
access TV show, which looks like
it would be a nightmare to sit through.
Up next is a fascinating news conference
video clip. Smoot and pals announce
their plans to shoot the film in
Alleghany County, NC, while a small
room of townsfolk, photogs, and
reporters look on. It’s straight
out of a 50s sitcom and a nice little
slice of small town enthusiasm.
Dig the sign: “QUIET ON THE
SET!” We also get a five minute
behind the scenes video montage,
narrated by Sherwood Jones, which
takes us through a day-in-the-life
on a small budget film set. Rounding
things out is a trailer for The
Dark Power.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Phil Smoot bats two for two. Alien
Outlaw will provide you with
a good night’s worth of dumb
laughs and drooling low budget diversion.
How can you say no? Have a blast. |
Too early
Girlz 'n' gunz
Popping peepers
Outlaw dunk
|
